Paranoid about permanent damage...

It's unlikely to be permanent but you are probably in the right ballpark as to how long it's going to take to reverse.

I don't think it necessarily requires iron discipline or unshakeable positive attitude, more just an acceptance of what needs to be done.

 

@theway1002, did you ever feel any psychological and/or mental changes or improvements in the realm of feeling better during that 125 day hard mode streak? That's amazing.

 

@theway1002 Tbf 125 days is a lot of time especially for hard mode and you're not going to know if you've recovered before you've tried it with a woman. The thing is one relapse after 125 days doesn't eradicate all the healing, also at least I noticed after I relapsed after a long streak did you notice whether you were more sensitised to porn, e.g. did you feel more stimulated to porn now than you did before you started said 125 day streak, just curious.

 

If you can still get morning wood then there's nothing wrong with you physically, it's psychological and can be reversed. I struggle with getting hard when I actually want to but I regularly wake up with an erection and random thoughts or images that I stumble across accidentally can set me off. I notice that this ebbs and flows on a streak, sometimes I'm dead sometimes I'm not. Progress is not linear on NoFap it seems. I'd also recommend you look into whether you have a tight pelvic floor, as this can effect erections, and also research increasing blood flow, for obvious reasons.

 

Man you are the one among the great cases. Many of us dream to have 125 days of no PMO. If you search the posts you can see that numbness is actually the sign of recovery (P.A.W.S) and it can happen anytime during recovery process. Another scientific journal was share regarding grey matter volume recovery which says that ideal recovery time can lie anywhere from 180 to 300 days for porn and any similar addiction.
So do not give up, do not reset your counter after 1 relapse, count it as you are still going beyond 125 and in few days you will be the one posting here about your full recovery as a success story

 

You shouldn't sell yourself short. 125 days is very impressive, 180 days even more so. This is proof that you do have what it takes to do it. Plus, the fact that you felt improvement after 180 days means that your body is not permanently damaged. Your belief that you have damaged yourself permanently is your addiction trying to make you lose hope so that you will return to PMO. Do not believe these thoughts.

You will need to evaluate what caused you to relapse and address those issues in order to progress. However, if you do that I believe you will achieve a good outcome.

Plus, if you are concerned about damage to your body you can always see a doctor about it. The doctor will either tell you that everything is fine which means that you can stop worrying about it or the doctor will notice some issue that you can work on fixing.

 

I can only hope and pray to achieve 120 days of sobriety. Keep your head up and the healing will come with time.