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paradox of attraction

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Gladston, Feb 2, 2015.

  1. Feb 2, 2015 #1
    Gladston

    Gladston New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,
    here is something I always wondered about.
    It may not really fit into this section, but I didnt know where else to put it.
    It's just that I am not attracted at all to girls that fancy me (that I know I could easily get).
    But on the other hand, those that I can never get I feel deeply attracted to, even though they are
    way out of my league / dont show any sign of sympathy / already in a relationship.
    Do you guys feel the same? Is it the same way for girls?
    How do you handle it?

    I would really like to hear someone elses opinion on this topic.
     
    Gladston, Feb 2, 2015
    Gladston, Feb 2, 2015
    #1
  2. Feb 2, 2015 #2
    Progressive Death Mettle

    Progressive Death Mettle Fapstronaut

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    I believe there's an essential difference between genuine attraction and infatuation. I don't have a ton of experience dating but I have a number of close female friends. Whether or not they would be classified as beautiful by society's standards is irrelevant. I'm attracted to their personality, their intelligence, their compassion. Are there girls I see on a daily basis that I'm infatuated with? Of course. But rarely will those women and I connect on a deeper psychological level.
     
    Progressive Death Mettle, Feb 2, 2015
    Progressive Death Mettle, Feb 2, 2015
    #2
  3. Feb 2, 2015 #3
    cuckoo

    cuckoo Fapstronaut

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    Gladston, I think that I had the same feelings in the past. But they are only feelings - they inform us about something and we can use them wisely or follow them blindly. I think that it is pretty normal that you think about girls that are out of your league, because many people crave what seems to be a challenge. It is like dreaming about cars or anything else.
    If you would spend more and more time with those girls you would get bored or connect deeply - in either way your feelings would change, because something unachieveable would become a reality.

    Some people are sex addicts and it is something really similar to pmo addiction. You crave something (or a porn star) and after you get it (or you have O) it is no longer atractive, at least for some time. ;)
     
    cuckoo, Feb 2, 2015
    cuckoo, Feb 2, 2015
    #3

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