P consumption made me exhibitionistic

SoberGuy · Nov 11, 2023

That's kinda awful and would like to take this off from my mind.

When i was younger, at the years in school, i used to be mocked and bullied. That means, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety and no chances to get a girlfriend. When i finished the school, 17 y.o., it was the 2020 pandemic scenario and i was still addicted to P.
After i turn 18 y.o., i had the idea of exhibit my tool online, seeking for validation and attention of women (of course, a TERRIBLE idea that i was so blind to see). I won't enter the details, telling it quickly i got compliments and attention. I got a dopamine rush that i never felt before and i was talking to some women in naughty ways that i never imagined before and then i got addicted to it for around one year. Then, the following situation was : i didn't meet anyone in person, those women were there only for some minutes and then ghosted me, i faced too much fakes, bots, men and trans (not a problem but i'm straight) and cucks with their wives/gfs asking me to humiliate their SO's.

My conclusion is that i regret it and i won't do this anymore. P is a drug and i will stay away from it, no more self-esteem troubles and seek for healthy and trully pleasurable ways to fulfill my time.

littlecomet · Nov 14, 2023

I have a pretty similar story, so I understand all too well that link between the rush and self esteem. The feeling that someone is attracted to you (or at least a part of you) is so incredibly powerful. But often it is—as you experienced—so fleeting and empty. It’s good that you’re on the path to change. I believe that you can do it man.

One bit of semi-random advice to give you is not to try and enter a relationship with someone for the sake of fulfilling that self esteem void. Try not to look for validation in others when you can avoid it. Date and have sex because you’re interested and excited by the person you’re with. Women are actually more easy to talk to than you’d think, you just have to muster up the courage to say something. You’ll find it doesn’t take being some alpha chad to find someone. But if you are working on yourself and developing healthy habits, the confidence boost that brings will definitely make it easier to talk to and subsequently connect with people. Good luck man.

Longtime27 · Dec 7, 2023

Nice one for opening up and sharing. Ultimately nearly all of us ended up on this forum due to some level of internet / webcam based escapism, whether voyeuristic, exhibistionist, or both!

The internet and sites on it allow us to create any kind of alter-ego or persona. This persona can be pretty much whatever you want it to be. And so many sites that are crammed down our throats are all about seeking external validation. It is a buzz, and it is good as a man to feel validated about our precious 'manhood'.

I've been there, and fully understand. It acts like a drug, and it is highly addictive. Unfortunately we can end up giving up so many other healthy characteristics or life choices by entrenching ourselves into the addictive internet underworlds.

If you've come to realise it's a bad path, and one that you no longer wish to tread, you've already started to beat it and win back a better life. Take any positives or sexual confidence that this experience has given you and channel it in loving, healthy, real relationships if you can

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P consumption made me exhibitionistic

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