Overcoming PIED. part 2

So after I was able to O for the first time with my girlfriend I thoughT i was cured! But I wasn't quite there yet. I was able to O during sex about evert 3rd time we did it. but as time continued and I was religiously refraining from any form of masterbation and porn It happened more frequently. every two times, then every other time, then it was every-time. it took a lot of patience and effort and endurance but we really wanted it to work so we stuck with it. I had never been happier during that time.

I still lasted about 30 minutes before anything but ass time went forward she became more and more attractive to me and that time went down. I enjoyed her presence more I had more fun and was able to be in the moment and less in my head the whole 6 months helped me a lot.

The only thing I regret is when summer came around. we didn't live close to each other so I would see her less and had relapsed again. I never did go back to my old habits but once or twice here and there. When I would see her it did affect the sex once again but once I stopped again it went right back.

Unfortunately I am no longer with that beautiful woman but I have been with a couple others and I have another girlfriend now. I noticed a lot about sex during that whole time and these are my most important findings PAY CLOSE ATTENTION:

1) After training your brain to only be aroused and PMO to porn, you have to retrain your brain. You can't think of it like "I should just be good at sex because its a natural function" you've got to understand that your brain is completely foreign to the idea of real sex especially after only watching porn for years on end. With porn you just sit on your ass and thats it. In real life theres a whole life in front of you. She or he has feelings, theres flirting, and foreplay that leads up to the act, theres nerves there and it can be quite scary to actually do anything sexual when someones right there. Theres also physical aspects, heavier breathing, movement of muscles, and positions, not just your hands. Its very different. Your brain has grown to be turned on by a sitting still and looking at a screen for years so in order for your brain to understand that pleasure also comes from real sex it will take practice! Like everything else in life it takes practice.

2) YOU WILL GET DISCOURAGED! Please expect that this is a part of it all. when I feel discouraged it makes me want to watch porn its a bad trigger but it is one for me. Thats how I knew I had a big problem but YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THAT. HONESTLY if you watch porn a lot while trying to recover this whole thing will probably take 10x longer for you to see improvements. I know its going to be hard I slipped up a bunch of times in the past 2 years but never ever let it keep spiraling back to how I originally was. Just try to know that sex will be very embarrassing sometimes. The process will be easier with girls you trust and actually care about but if not just know the more u familiarize your brains connection with pleasure and real girls thats all thats really important.

3) Mental is the biggest part. If you relapse it automatically sends insecurity into your next encounter with a girl. Thats where a lot of performance anxiety came from with me. I thought oh man I relapsed now the next time I have sex it will be terrible. It was terrible lol but it was my fault because I told my self that and it mad me nervous. But the more I wasn't watching porn the more confident I felt and better sex was for me. Im not saying to beat yourself up if you relapse just understand that results will be better if you stay true as long as you can.

4) Take a week off here and there so your brain can recover. If you've been trying all week with a person and you are just getting more upset just take a week off no sex to let your frustration die down and to just take a breather. You will often find that after that week off you've improved quite a lot. Because the week off built your confidence back up.

5) reassure you girlfriend or guy friend after every sexual experience you have with them. Ik that a lot of girls feel insecure if they feel like they can't please you the right way. being an addict I know a lot about insecurity so if you can find it in you to say "hey I have this problem and it has nothing to do with you, I was addicted to bad porn habits that makes really anxious and hard for me to have sex. Your are beautiful and sexy and I enjoy and appreciate every moment I get to be intimate with you." Don't be afraid that tell her or him about what you learned about how porn effects the brain. And that she is helping you get through it. Obviously you wont say this every single time but always mention how beautiful she or he is and that one day the two of you will see the improvements you want. If she feels some type of way just listen to her tell her you understand, ask her if she'd rather be with someone else, if she says yeah let her go. If not say "Ik its rough but it will only keep getting better" But NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THE SITUATION. yes its your fault that your porn effected you this way but you are doing everything you can to fix the damage and you will.

6) Don't force it. You will get the urge to keep trying and trying and trying and trying. If you are just not in the mood then you are not in the mood. remember days that you feel happy, confident, and energized are the best days to practice having sex. but if you've had a long bad day just relax theres plenty of time to get it in. how you feel inside has a direct impact on the type of energy you will have during sex. That includes erection strength.


7) it takes courage to heal yourself from this affliction. It will be scary as hell. It took me about 1.5 months before I was able to actually get and keep an erection. 3months before I even penetrated and 6 months before I had my first O with a girl. This is a long time and I'm still working on it it but I have improved soooo much and I only feel a little bit of anxiety compared to how I felt when it first started. KEEP WITH IT.

This is my story and what I've learned from it