Over 200 days clean - and counting

Hello everyone!

My last "60 days clean" success report can be found here:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/married-and-not-looking-back-60-days-clean.86057/

Today is day #232...

What have I learned so far?

There is one BIG thing which I had learned which I really want to share with everyone.

Every NO counts!!

That's right - every time you say 'no' to PMO, it counts.

Think about when you first started with MO or PMO. It felt so innocent, so secretly sweet and so attractive. You began justifying this in your head and indulging your body with pleasure that today you know too well had been destroying you.

Today you are reading this post and thinking about all the countless times that you had relapsed in your life... how you wish that they were not there, how you scold yourself for wanting to say 'no' and not saying it... and how it feels that all those relapses had, bit by bit, grown into a wall of a burden and a curse - grown right under your nose.

Well, I want to share hope with you! Hope that every NO counts!

I have had most amazing sexual experiences with my wife - and I know that there is still more to come! )) I can only say that it has been God's grace for her to love me and for me to love her back. But I can also declare and confess that my hard work of fighting for purity and NoFap has been paying off until today!

Imagine your decision to either PMO or NoFap being like a brick - either black or white. Once you make that choice - in that hour or on that day - you get one brick of one colour and you need to build with it. And at that moment you can't have both (that is the deceit of PMO - it lies to us that we can have both and that is why so many fall prey to it!).

So today I challenge you to not keep staring at the black PMO wall that had been built by your actions - but to look at the white NoFap wall in your life.

It is so easy to focus on your performance and achievements (that is the culture we live in, yes) and to constantly feel that you are not good enough, that you are not doing enough, that you will never have what it takes... I challenge you to stop that! Right now!

The Bible challenges us in the book of Philippians to focus our thoughts "on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable; think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

Now ask yourself: me thinking about all my relapses - is that thinking positive, thinking life? Or perhaps I should be thinking about the times I won, the times I said NO, the times I had remained pure in my body and true to my convictions? Yes!! Exactly!

NoFap pays off. Really, eventually it does! All those countless times I had said YES to NoFap and NO to PMO are paying off in my marriage today. Great sex, great intimacy and that feeling of content and satisfaction that you get when you know you have accomplished something for good and it will not be taken away from you.


So, to sum up: keep believing and keep fighting! It might feel to you like you are broken beyond repair and that you are no material for a successful masculinity. Remember: every NO counts! And maybe the white wall will not appear before you in one day, or in one month - or perhaps not even in one year. But it is growing - and every time you say NO, you are growing with it!

Peace!

 

You are welcome, friend! We all have a story worthwhile telling.

 

I won't! I believe that my life has a meaning and a purpose and, like I said, sharing one's life is serving that purpose. We can either live for ourselves or for something beyond ourselves. If I would limit myself to only self-indulgence, I would never have had victory - not just with PMO, but with anything else in life.

Each one of us needs to challenge and to be challenged. We are united in His Spirit and are all in His Image and likeness - no one can remove that God-like-ness from us, not even the powers of sin and hell.

 

Hehe, looks like you are the perfect person to do so ))

 

Exactly! Thanks for your opinion!

 

Thank you for your comment, man!

First of all, I want to say I admit it is very difficult it is for teens nowadays to remain pure and non-sexual, dedicating their lives to self-improvement and maturity. The culture is ravaging with sexual imagery and stimulations, the peer pressure to be sexually active at earlier ages is sometimes unbearable and, as the capitalist societies keep thriving, the levels of boredom increase, and with that the levels of access to all sorts of twisted fantasies and forbidden pleasures (which are destructive long term, but no one tells you that - its all about here and now these days).

I want to compliment you on admitting that there is a problem at your age. It indicates a level of thought deeper than most other people your age possess. Keep at it - it will definitely give you a heads-up.

I would suggest you fight first and foremost to keep your sexuality out of the main focus of your life. In the light of what I had mentioned above, it might be difficult and sometimes impossible. But sex is not the pinnacle of life - at least not how the world around us tries to present it. There are tons and tons of other ways to enjoy yourself - and sexual stimulation is just one of those ways. A few I can mention is going to the gym, spending time with friends, studying a direction you love, learning a new language, playing PC games, singing and dancing, racing cars and RC cars, solving puzzles - the list can carry on and on! (All things in balance, of course.) The post-sexual revolution culture is excessively focused on sex and sexual thinking, but don't let it devalue all other areas of life.

So it's all about what you keep in front of you, in your focus. If there is too much sex on the TV, don't watch it or be selective. If some of your friends are sexually obsessed, change your friendship circles. Surround yourself with non-sexual stimulation and once that is out of focus, you will feel more relaxed and definitely more in control of your life.

And yes, hormones are there - but I feel that we sometimes give too much attention to hormones as well. Nevertheless, for that you need a good support network, such as your parents, youth pastor and older friends (like some men 5 or 10 years older than you who might even be married already). It is hard to learn a lot of long-term life skills from one's peers because normally they are just as questioning and inexperienced as you are - that creates a guessing and unknowing environment which leads to risky explorations and false idea development (there are exceptions, yes, but this is a general rule).

This support network should be made of people who are of your gender and whose personal qualities you admire and look up to. The more you hang around such people, the more you will learn from them the things you desire to learn and make your own - and you will become more like them in the process. It's about relationships - and about good ones.

Hope this helps you a bit! )

 

You are welcome!

 

Monk, I have had improvements in my skin tone and decreasing acne - but surprisingly, not from NoFap. My skin significantly improved due to restricting my sugar intake.

I used to be a moderate sugar consumer - I never had a sweet tooth for cakes and cookies, you know, but I was always heavy on the fruits. Fresh fruit as well as fruit juices. I hated (and still hate) the flavour of sugary drinks, like Coke and Sprite etc. so that was not something I struggled to give up.

I moved on to sugar-free drinks, such as Sprite Zero and very weak soluble drinks. Fruits were, however, part of my daily diet - I would easily eat 4-5 apples or so per day.

Then I had watched "That Sugar Film" and my life was turned around completely. I had cut out all sugar from my diet and had restricted myself to one fruit per day. Within a week my skin cleared and the acne never came back. (Ok, it only comes back once I cheat with fruit and sugars, you know - but that is totally my fault.)



The film is available to watch on YouTube - I have shared the link to the English one above.. I do not say that this is something that will help you with your skin - but it will definitely be worthwhile reviewing your sugar intake, especially if you are still young. God eating habits are the key to a good life since you are what you eat.