I have finally come to terms with it: I'm in deeper than I thought. It's time I started a journal to keep me focused and on track so I can finally start reaching some goals longer than a week. This is it, Day 1, and I'm in it for the long run this time.
Day 3: Pretty typical first three days, urges very few and manageable. I know it's going to be days 6-8 that are the hardest, especially because the last time I relapsed was on Saturday, so it'll be a weekend, but I really want to beat my record this time.
Day 6: I haven't wavered since I began this streak, which is a good thing I guess. When I'm facing mild urges, I just focus on keeping my hands away from my [NSFW] dick [/NSFW], which helps quite a bit. So far I've been more motivated to go for runs and workouts, and I've been making gains in the distance and length I can jog for. My face also seems to be clearing up from the mild acne that usually comes around in some spots. So far so good, I'm liking the change and the improvements.
Day 8: This is it, my personal point of no return. I haven't since I began fapping a few years ago gone longer than 8 days at any one given time. I'm going on a three week long trip in a couple of days and I know I'm going to be very busy during this trip, which should make it easier to avoid urges. If I can last until I leave, I'm going to have a record to be proud of. Cold showers have definitely been helping me (in more ways than just getting rid of urges, too). I'm feeling good, like I can really cut PMO out of my life forever, but I know worse days are ahead and there are plenty of rough patches to come.
You're making good progress - well done it sounds like your strategies are working. Stick with them and you'll reach your PB
Day 10: Achievement unlocked: Double Digits Thanks everyone replying on this journal for the support. It means a lot. Last night I had a dream that I PMO'd (it's weird how my erotic dreams have gone from actually having sex to just dreams about PMO'ing) and the feeling right when it was done was intensely disappointing. I woke up and had to immediately check my boxers, and was relieved to see I hadn't actually O'd. Needless to say this was a good source of motivation for today, just the shear low feeling that I felt in my half-awakeness thinking that I broke my longest record yet was enough to push me on.
Day 17 - March 23, 2015 Wow, it's been a while. The last time I checked in was the end of February, now here we are at the end of March. Last time I wrote, I was at day 10 and though I had an unfortunate relapse since then, I've already overcome the defeat and broken past my previous best of 12 days. It feels good overall. I wouldn't say I'm experiencing any "superpowers," I'm not very surprised because I was already a social, confident guy before starting nofap. What I have noticed, though, is that I am feeling overall more happy and optimistic and that I find more satisfaction in little things day to day. This past weekend I had some of the strongest urges I've ever had but somehow I got through. I really feel like this could be the time I make it to thirty days, and beyond. All the best
Day 23 - March 29, 2015 Things have been going really good lately. Maybe I'm flatlining because urges have been really minimal and even accidentally seeing things that would normally be triggers for me hasn't been affecting me very much. The minor blue balls I was getting about a week ago hasn't come back either, so that's good. I'm still only seeing benefits thus far so I'm going to keep pushing on!
Day 0 - April 2, 2o15 Today, I fell from my height and relapsed. I'm not here to complain or whine or ask for moral support. I know that there are setbacks to every goal. If I had taken two steps forward by reaching 27 days no PMO, then I just took one back. This is not the end, it is still only the beginning. It's time to blow past this streak and reach new heights I never thought possible.
Day 0 - April 5, 2015 I relapsed again, gave in to one of the strongest urges I've ever felt. It made me feel like I had no chance, that there was no point in resisting and that I was just putting off relapsing. I need to remind myself when I get these urges who is in control and that I will not be a slave to what my body tells me.
Day 4 - April 9, 2015 It feels good to finally start getting back on track after a couple of consecutive relapses. Getting back into my routine after the Easter break has made it easier. About two days before my big relapse and loss of my 27 day streak I decided cold showers were doing me no good and I started taking warm showers again. I don't know if that decision may have contributed to my relapse, but I am definitely back on the cold shower train. I usually take 2 cold showers a day, one first thing in the morning and one after I run/play sport and it leaves my feeling great. Just a couple of minutes ago I took my first cold shower due to an urge because I was feeling an intense urge to fap. Even though I didn't get my hair wet (I have somewhere to be in about 10 min), the ice cold water on my body shocked me back into my mentality and shrivelled up my boner. I'm definitely going to be taking cold showers whenever I have urges now in addition to daily cold showers. Usually when I'm taking my usual cold shower, I start the water at cold but not the coldest and then throughout the shower progressively make it colder and colder until the final seconds are the coldest possible, but when dealing with urges I think it's best to just throw the shower at the coldest it can go and jump right in. It's for sure a great resource for crushing urges.
Day 8 - April 13, 2015 I had a wet dream last night which sort of bummed me out because I felt as if it's a sort of relapse. I realize now that there's nothing in my power I could have done to prevent/stop it and it's just a natural part of my body's system. For anyone who wishes they could have wet dreams to release some of the tension built up from Nofap, trust me you don't. I woke up hornier than I had been all week and I don't feel any difference in tension or relaxation. In other news, I've come to realize that for me personally, it isn't necessarily the Nofap that is giving me motivation/confidence but the desire to improve myself in general. Nofap has leaked over into other aspects of my life: I've been working out more, eating better and reading more frequently. It's the lifestyle that gives you the optimistic outlook IMO. Nofap was just a way for me to realize this.
Look, wet dreams are not counted as a relapse. You did it unconsiously and so you don't have control over it. You're committed and that's good. But relapsing during a dream shouldn't be a concern because the body has to make room for more. Keep it up!
Day 0 - April 15, 2015 Today, I relapsed and MO'd. I dusted myself off and said I've got to continue on my journey. An hour later, I relapsed again, this time with P included. So here I am, dusting myself off a second time and getting back up again, again. A relapse is a relapse, that's all it is. It isn't a failure, it's an obstacle in the way of progress. Looking back at how I used to jerk it at a minimum of 20 times a month, and how these last two months I've jerked it on average 3 maybe 4 times a month, I'm seeing progress. I just wish I didn't relapse the second time with P because all it does is refresh those images in my brain. So the counter's reset, the resolve's re-established and the game has begun a new period.
Can't remember where I found this post but everybody should definitely read this guy's take on recovering from this addiction: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0 I'm going to follow his advice. I've started using a Google Spreadsheet created by a fellow nofapper to track my actual progress, that is progress month by month rather than just a streak tracker because that really tells you nothing about your recovery. I've put the link to the spreadsheet in my signature so I'm accountable to everyone on this site. I'm going to spend some time reflecting on my life vision, which I will probably post here fairly soon. I'm going to analyze where I want to be in 1, 5, 10, 20 years and beyond and focus on my goals every single day. Every day and every urge I'll focus on my vision. I am realizing thanks to the post I mentioned on yourbrainrebalanced.com that it's not about going a certain amount of days without PMO, but it's about changing my entire mentality and way of living. I am also going to read this book that is recommended in the link above called "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson. One more thing, I'm going to try my very best to not make posts such as, -"urges were strong today" -"feeling so good right now" -"my X days report" -anything else that is shallow, temporary, useless or otherwise and start making my posts all about my self improvement. Thanks for the support and good luck everyone.
You have a great attitude about this that is really inspiring! I'll definitely be subscribing to your journal and keeping up with your progress. Stay strong, and you can do this!
April 27, 2015 It's been a little while since my last update, but things have been going pretty good. I'm little bit disappointed in myself for drinking a bit too much on Saturday and making a bit of a fool of myself, but I'm still young and learning. "The Slight Edge" came in the mail today and I'm excited to read it. I've started weight training in addition to cardio training at the gym, so I'm excited to see where that takes me. I've been playing the guitar quite frequently and making good progress, as well as I've been reading more than usual. Keep improving everyone.
