Hi everyone. I'm excited to finally join the forums, and the NoFap journey itself. Long story short, I am a 25 year old virgin that has a long history of social isolation, and just isolation from the world in general. Also, I have a history of being mildly sexually abused throughout my childhood and early teens which I feel has contributed greatly to my insecurities. I am actually not a newcomer to NoFap. I've been aware of the NoFap for over a year now, and have made a ton of half-assed attempts to quit. I would always tell myself that I don't really need NoFap, that because I'm a virgin, I need it as a sexual outlet, etc. It's becoming quite clear to me now that I need this more than anything. You see, I just recently attended a family gathering, and this was the first time I had to be social and present myself in a while, and boy was I a socially awkward, nervous wreck. Eye contact was extremely difficult, if not impossible at times, and I could barely find the words to explain what I've been up to, because well I haven't really been up to anything, especially over the course of the last year. This experience has impacted me to such a degree that I finally feel motivated to kick the habit for good. I simply don't want to be this pathetic little person anymore. I acknowledge that I'm a talented individual; talented in both science & the arts. I feel that I have some amazing things to show the world, but have held back all that I truly am because of social anxiety and sexual insecurity. NoFap MUST be the key to all of this; it's the one thing about myself I haven't fully embraced yet. I'm so tired of the endless nights of fapping, and viewing porn! I so desperately want to be a member of the community I find myself in, to love and be loved! But alas, the shame has kept me in chains... a prison of my own design... I'm ready.
I know what it feels like. Can't tell what I've been doing. Pretend that I do stuff when in fact I was fapping. One of the reasons I quit was that I was so disgusted with myself. It's hard to grow a good self esteem when jerking off so much.
