Obsessed with hosiery

Anyone else has this problem?

I've been obsessed with hosiery since I was 5, and still nearly 20 years later these kind of things are my biggest weakness and number one reason of my relapses

I always kind of felt that it gave me a sense of "security" and being "grounded", I actually kind of envy women that they can simply wear it as they want

 

I never had a relationship, but if I'd have one I'd like my gf to wear something with nylon regularly (in exchange, I'd wear or do something for her too, naturally)

Of course it's not bad per se, but for me it's such a big obsession that I can't stop thinking about the "soft feeling" they can produce when touching

One of my colleagues from university wears pantyhose like all the time, so I regularly check her Instagram and Facebook out if she's published a new photo with hosiery

If I wouldn't be into that, I definitely would have an easy time not relapsing. Now it's summer so it'd kinda easier for me, but once it gets colder then the fun begins.

It's just that it's a very feminine clothing (that's why I like it if a woman wears dresses or skirts, or shoes which are obviously female like flats), and I'm looking into this "female comforting side" I could never experience (my mom never dressed feminine and she is very rough of a person, I never could find any comfort in her, it's always been dad who comforted me when I was stressed out)

 

Burn them all and find another way to deal with your childhood attachment issue... It is clearly an unhealthy way of finding the comfort you lacked as a child.

You MUST take your mind of it and focus on other meaningfull things in life. This obsession is simply an addiction. Just like the pot smoker smokes weed to deal with stress you occupy yourself with hosiery to feel the comfort you lacked. What you need is to get rid of it completely and learn to be comfortable by yourself. Abstain and through trial and error you will find your way.

 

I don't crossdress at all, even if I wanted my mom does not even possess pantyhoses and even if they'd be too small

I thought about experimenting with that once I move out though

Obviously a gf should never be one's mommy, but what I wish is that she'd be able to comfort me when I'm stressed out, that when I will feel bad I can cuddle with her. Of course if she's got an issue, I'd also be happy to comfort her

But subconsciously it's just trying to make my potential gf my new and better mommy in some aspects

You say that I should abandon hosiery and in general female clothing as a mean to comfort myself, to get the femininity i always wanted to experience.

You say i should be able to comfort myself on my own if I'm stressed out (and not to rely on something).

So how should I do that? I always wanted to have a feminine mom with a big heart

 

If she wouldn't like to wear hosiery and in general female clothing like skirts and flats for example, then I'd be disappointed. I couldn't help but see her as a potential "threat" because my mom also never wore that "feminine" clothing and was never able to comfort me (she always only told me: "I got it worse", "Just deal with it", something you'd expect from your dad to tell you, whereas my dad took the role in comforting me)

 

Thats what the journey is all about. For me it is meditation and spirituality/ faith. For you it might be cooking or martial arts. Thats for you to discover.

Read the Way of the Superior Man from David Deida. He sheds a light on life purpose and the interdynamics between male and female energy.

 

You feel this way because you are still completely entangled with this mom-comfort-hosiery problem. I swear to god, after 1 year of NoHosiery, having found purpose, passion and a balanced state of mind you will realize that it makes no sense to evaluate your girlfriends behavior based on how your mom treated you as a child.

 

I really can't say that I have a balanced state of mind. I constantly use to hop from one idea to the next one, one day I am interested in Buddhism, the next day I'm a devout Christian, the second day I'm irreligious. It's not only about worldviews, it's also about mentality, one day I'm Mr. Positive, the next day I'm depressed, the second day I am angry. One day I am like Wim Hof, the next day I'm Steve Jobs second coming, the third day I am a rockstar in the closet.

I am constantly emotionally confused because I simply don't know where I have to head to.

It's like going on a train trip through India in your gap year, from Tawi in the North, to Goa in the South and back to New Tinsukia in the East, meeting a ton lot of interesting and spiritual people who all give you their knowledge from some thousand years ago. You simply don't know what you should expect but you know it's gonna be a long journey

I also often think what's wrong with me, do I have borderline? Aspergers? Bipolar? I don't know

I just want to hold to an anchor and nothing more. My parents are not my anchor anymore (I'm too old and the only anchor was my dad who is too busy right now to be my personal psychologist). I am just overwhelmed by life being SO BIG, I just want to go to my cozy corner with everything being OK, but where should I find that cozy corner?

It's hilarious because I've been feeling that way since I was 16 years old, back then it started with channels like "Sweet Natural Living" (fruitarian diet) and a NoFap YouTuber called "Classic" (the one who created the "Wise Men Movement" with its song "Where is Mr. Fap? He's in his room! What's he up to now? Swinging his broom, oh no! Think it's time to him, to make a change! Come on Mr. Fap, get back your strength!"). Then, it was all about MGTOW and my own theory about "Studying is the way of life" which worsened my depression. Then I created my own world in my head where everything is OK, accompanied with some Indie Rock songs. I refuse to go to that world back again and to listen to those songs due to the Pandemic, I can't enjoy being there when I now that the whole world nearly is in lockdown with restrictions

I find it actually hard to live, it's a constant mental struggle for me. And I can't help but see a gf or at least hosiery as a solution to comfort myself mentally. I tried pot once but I still had those thoughts, pot only made me more physically relaxed, nothing too big tbh

 

Try a vipassana retreat. That was life changing for me. What you need is direction or a mentor and control over your mind. Three things help with this;

-Non-secular meditation (such as vipassana)
-Faith
-A strategic life plan

 

9th Day or something right now, I was basically without urges but I saw a ton of women wearing pantyhose today when I was outside in the city.

I also have been having dreams about women I find attractive in the last days (not related to pantyhose)

Also, one colleague who uses to wear pantyhoses all the time wrote me some days ago asking about some stuff, so yeah that also triggered something in me

But I will not give in, gonna go make some sandwiches and watch some Bojack Horseman

Fuuuuuck I hate it so much

 

You’re a man, so nothing wrong with that. Sounds like you need a woman in your life though!

 

Oddly. I’ve never been attracted to such wearable nature. Not even fish nets have I been attracted to. I just don’t get it I guess? But I remember back in high school a Gothic gal would wear it every single day. I couldn’t understand the attraction. Not even knee high stockings…

 

A lot of men like it. A lot of men like to see a woman’s legs period, even in stockings. I have chubby legs so cover my legs up most of the time but when id wear skirts period, especially short skirts, I got totally different reactions and vibes from men.

 

I also don't like fish nets for some reason, I like "clean" and transparent nylon hosiery. I in general like it when women are dressing in a very feminine way

 

Maybe I’m just weird. I understand if you have to cover, it’s all up to you. Weird.. If a woman is wearing a simple dress I’ll be attracted to it, especially if it’s colorful.

 

What I was saying is that that’s most men! That it’s normal