O in a relationship

From what I have read here so far, it seems that people come to different conclusions. Some people are mega strict with themselves - they don't touch their dick unless they are washing or taking a piss nor do they ejaculate via masturbation (obviously) or sex. But, others allow themselves to edge for hours and just stop before the point of no return and have as much sex as they want. Are you already having sex. If so, that might make things tricky to go down the strict road. I don't know.

 

Hi Venster, as IGY said, it completely depends upon you. From my personal experience what I have found is that sex is part of the healing process as long as you don't think about other girls in your mind when having sex or when you are about to O. It has to be all that girl, the emotions and the feeligs, your mind should be blank. I at first found it hard to O when having sex without thinking about other girls, so now instead I just enjoy the sex and as soon as i start thinking "i should O, so i should start thinking about porn scenes" I stop myself. I think its part of the porn culture that we think we need to O EVERY time we have sex. I say no to that, all part of sex are hot and enjoyable, foreplay, kissing, sex, not just Oing. you can do all of that without Oing.

What I have found after is that if this is the case, then next time say the next day that you do have sex, it will be alot easier to O when having sex without thinking about girls in my mind.

BUT I have found that if I do not O with sex and don't get sex for a while, it drives me crazy and can make me break, so just watch what you are doing!

Good luck experimenting.

 

No but you are only referring to external O when it is possible to enjoy the same pleasures via internal O which is similar to edging (and yes I am talking about with a partner here) but via the use of breathing/muscular techniques the O is sent in rather than ejaculated out which can also mean that the male can effectively multiple orgasm in one 'session' as this is far easier to repeat etc. The problem is that we have been utterly brainwashed by the 'cum' shot which off course adds entertainment value to porn/sex by means of a visual 'punchline' which has severely narrowed our sense of possibility whilst also completely 'perverting' (in the truest sense of the word) our natures and the way we view/objectify others as we crave the satifaction of 'delivering' our own 'punchlines' in order to recreate the images that so excited us from the screen. And of course everything is goal/outcome orientated these days with sex being no exception and its fucking us up (literally!) Check out things like Kareeza etc. And this thread is worth a read if your interested? Sexual Energy Transmutation

 

Make sure you discuss this with your girlfriend. She will definitely have an opinion. She may support you in staying abstinent for a time. Or she might not appreciate being ignored sexually if that's what you two have become accustomed to.

Use your best judgement and be sure to be open with your girlfriend.

 

Here is my one rule during all this. Do not make yourself O. Thats it. Its a great rule. For so many reasons.

 

just to clarify, others can make you O. you just can't do it yourself.

 

I am new to this thing tried many times to give up masturbation but it's like a drug.I am in a relationship with a great girl but a lot of the time we have sex I cannot cum and end up going soft.I have no trouble when she gives me oral or a handjob but lately no orgasm during sex.i don't masturbate every day say around three times a week to porn.Is it porn that's giving me this problem?

 

Very likely, yes.

 

It could be the porn, or it could be that you need more sweet-talk during sex (aural stimulation, yeah really, *ahem*) or more play, or different positions. If you're using condoms for PIV and not the other stuff, that could make the difference, or if not, perhaps subconscious concerns about pregnancy are holding you back. In any case, cutting out porn can only be a good thing because it'll either solve your problem or eliminate one possible cause.

 

YES TO BOTH.
Having sex to orgasm drains away that energy just like MO does. There is an alternative that for some reason is still controversial. It's called Sexual Magic or white Tantra or Karezza etc. It is sexual contact without the orgasm.

There must be a firm foundation for Sexual Magic, i.e. marriage, and your partner must understand all the reasons behind not orgasming so as not to make you slip up out of her own lust.

There are many, many books about this online. My favourite is "The Perfect Matrimony" by Samael Aun Weor. Find it here: www.reuniting.info/download/pdf/The_Perfect_Matrimony.pdf

 

Thanks Siloam, had no idea there was a free download for that book!