NoFAP and getting laid vs. Obsessing over NoFAP and not getting laid

My motivation is to have control over my desires, instead of my desires having control over me. I want to become the best version of myself, and I will never get there if I'm enslaved to PMO.

Without question, that will lead to greater self-confidence and a more masculine energy, which will probably make me a lot more appealing to women ... which will be nice, but that isn't my goal in the least.

 

I'm in complete agreement with that. I have no doubt that ending my PMO use will improve my love/sex life but that's secondary at this point. Gaining control of my own mind and my own actions is priority number 1.

 

I'm new to the site and all, but if you poke around and read peoples' stories, I think you'll see that your assumptions are pretty baseless. From what I gather, most people aren't here to try to get laid. They (including myself) are fighting compulsive habits that in some cases could qualify as a genuine unhealthy addiction causing harm to their mental well being. If you don't get that, that's fine, but try not to assume you understand everyone's motivations for giving up PMO, and don't try to diminish the struggle by assuming it's "just porn" or whatever.

 

Good post.

As I always say with any addiction/bad habit:

Look forward, not back.

You need to be motivated by a positive future, rather than simply motivated to get away from a negative past. The negatives that you don't want will never be strong enough motivators during your times of need. When your reason for quitting porn is that it's harmful to you.. and you're in a depressed self-destructive mood, that's no longer a strong reason, and so you give in and watch porn. When you have something more positive motivating you, something you want to do, or to be, some new positive healthy habits you care about more than you cared about porn.. those are the things that'll keep you motivated during dark times.

I was a drug addict, I tried several times with no luck to quit, then the final time I quit.. easily.

That was the one thing that changed. The first times I was looking back at the addiction. I was running from the addiction and the negative effects it brought me.. but I would run until I got tired, and then give in and stop running.

Eventually I found something positive that I cared about more than drugs, that motivated me to move forward and become someone who no longer had room for drugs in his life. This time around it was honestly very easy in comparison to those past times when I failed - just because of that motivator.

 

I say that you eventually get to a point where you no longer think about it anymore. It simply becomes a new way of living. You move on to other things in life and strive for more.

 

I can vouch for what SuperFan and the person who wrote the quote above said.

 

I m still struggling just like many of u guys,but once i read that in order to overcome addiction any addiction(porn ,drugs,m,etc) don think for the long run just think what u are going to do today to overcome the addiction .Try to make it one day and then the next day and so on and the u will get used to it.

 

My motivation to nofap cant be just getting laid. Im an all around sex addict and at one point the only value of sex with a new girl was it gave me new imagry and eurphoric recall to MO to. I was only using girls as an extension of my masturbation. I was so jaded i could not Orgasm during sex with a girl unless i ran images of porn, strippers, and other women through my mind.. i would spend hours and days cruising places to meet girls and be constantly on the make everyplace i went... I have to get free of the addiction to O whether its with a girl or PMO and get a real life. Trust me, Getting laid will not fix your life. Having sex with lots a women can be just another drug to use people to checkout and escape your life. But i get your point. Find positives to motivate you.

 

My motivation is to just rid my life of something that is completely and utterly useless, which is P&M.

It's the same reason for why I'm in recovery for other addictions. To unclutter my life of useless shit.