No Sex Until Marriage

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by fortify, Apr 25, 2019.

  1. fortify

    fortify Fapstronaut

    Hello!

    I'm a 22-year-old guy who's been addicted to porn and masturbation for nearly 10 years now. I've been abstaining from PMO for 14 days and still counting.

    Due to religious reasons that I chose to follow with conviction, I will not be having sex unless I am married which is likely to happen at least 5 years from now, let's say.

    I have two questions. If we assume that I could continue abstaining for that whole period:
    • How would my physical, mental, and sexual health be affected?
    • And how well my sexual first experience is going to be like?
    Thanks.
     
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  2. PJT

    PJT Fapstronaut

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    Your physical health should be pretty good since you are retaining your life fluids. Try not to replace one addiction with another one...like don't sit and play video games until your fingers hurt. You will probabbly have more drive to succeed and discipline.

    Your mental state can go either way. But stay positive.

    Your first experience will be just that your first. It probably will not be memorable tbh.
     
  3. Tannhauser

    Tannhauser Fapstronaut

    I waited until my wedding night to have sex. It was an incredible experience!! I don't want to go into triggering details, but suffice it to say that it was all I hoped for an much more.
     
  4. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    I also abstain from pre-marital sex because of religious reasons. I am not married, so I have limited insight. I heard catholic psychologist claiming that first sexual experience is quite important and creates strong bond, so your sex life in marriage will profit from it. Also I think when you leave yourself more time to build intimacy, sexual encounter is less anxious and I guess less about pure excitement and more about human connection.
     
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  5. Sharksvv

    Sharksvv Fapstronaut

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    Personally I’m not a believer of no sex before marriage, I think sex is something in life that if you can enjoy it you should. Especially if you’re in a relationship and you’re both in love, young and able. Sexual function in men tends to be at its peak in the 20’s and I feel to willingly not have sex with a woman during this time is wasted time.

    Obviously people have different opinions on it and that’s okay. So I guess to answer your question of how your mental health will be effected, if knowing this about male sexuality (peaking in the 20’s..erection strength for example will deteriorate with age) is fine with you than you should be okay.

    It’s a personal decision.
     
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  6. fortify

    fortify Fapstronaut

    This is debatable but everyone is free to deal with it the way they want according to their own beliefs or wahtever.
    Personally, I look at sex as a beautiful reward gifted to 2 people for their patience and loyalty to each other during a certain period of time together.

    You can have sex many times with multiple girls before you get married and get the most out of your life during your 20s, so nothing guarantees a long lasting relationship that will be resulting into a family. I see it as one person is exploiting the other to just enjoy the moment and everything would probably end between them afterwards. I don't think me or my wife would be happy if one of us had sex with someone else. Sex outside of marriage sounds illogic to me. Historically, marriage has been known as a contract between 2 persons to start a family and live faithfully together. In the first place, sex was created as a tool to give birth to children. Amusement comes in the second place.
    Why do I have sex if I'm not going to make a family right now, OR, why do I have sex since I'm not sure if we'll continue together.

    I believe nice things in life take time and are not taken easily. You need to be patient and loyal to give your body and soul to the right and only person with whom will live for the rest of your life.
     
  7. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Very well written post. Giving both body and soul is imho important. Many people care only about physical love.

    I don't want to have my best sexual experience with a women other than my wife. I think I might be coming back to it in my mind, regret that it is gone etc.
     
  8. fortify

    fortify Fapstronaut

    Exactly.
     
  9. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    The developing brains needs to learn about sex during one's formative years, typically from puberty to 25 or 26. Afterwards, the brain prunes away millions of connections and leaves the core connections - at that point it would be harder to allow the brain to learn about sex, not impossible but harder.

    Basically, your brains needs to learn about the cues of sex before it 'stagnates'.
     
  10. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

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    Beautifully worded bro and it expresses my own views exactly. :cool:
     
  11. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Your religious choice, combined with you PMO habit, make the worst possible combination ever. You definitely have to give up one of the two or you'll be in serious troubles.
     
  12. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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  13. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    Every faithfully married type I've talked to, either wished they had stayed celibate until marriage, or were super glad that they had.
    You should be fine.
     
  14. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

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    It should be very beneficial.
    Something I have noticed is that a lot of people on this forum have the goal to meet more women and have sex. That is why they do NoFap.
    For me, due to my sex after marriage belief, I do NoFap to achieve the greatest version of myself.
     
  15. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    "Some people go to church because they feel holy, some people go to church because they are sinners".
     
  16. Lot Yanisin

    Lot Yanisin Fapstronaut

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    I'd like to commend you for that. Don't give anyone permission to make you feel awkward or unmanly because of this decision.
     
  17. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    Don't let anyone else talk you out of it, if you don't think you can handle it, don't. If you believe it's the right thing to wait, do it/ use this as your time to kick your porn habit.
     
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  18. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    brah be honest do you abstain due to religious reasons or because you are so bad with women that you cannot form a relationship with thewm? Be honest porn has probably taken the social aspect out of you. what to do best is bastain for atleast 90 days up to 2 years and once your brain is back to normal it's ok to have release every three months lets' say.
     
  19. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Believe it or not, but religion is not a set of bullshit excuses for people who can't have sex.
     
  20. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    no, it's not but it's easy to use it to mask your problem - for example, has OP tried to date women in order to establish whether they would be a good life partner and after that eventually having sex with them? That's what I tried to say.
     

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