No sensitivity.

I'm here because at the age of 29 I finally realized the seriousness of my problem.

I never had sex until after college (procrasturbation made me a 6th year senior) but when I finally had sex, I felt nothing. I figured this was because of an anti-depressant I took, and accepted the idea that I wouldn't orgasm during intercourse.

This all changed last week. I have been off of the anti-depressant for almost two months, and expected to orgasm quickly when I had sex with a new girlfriend. Well, just like before, I can't feel anything. I'd love to blame it on the condom, but after doing some internet searching, I realized this is a good case of death-grip syndrome.

By recognizing my habit-cycle, I've been able to stop masturbating and stay off of porn for over a week, but I don't know how long it will take to regain sensitivity. Here's to battling addiction, and here's to regaining sensitivity. Cheers.

 

Thanks, Septimus, for the welcome and the link to your plan in your signature.

I was reading a book about habits and, after analyzing my habit cycle, have disrupted it in the following manner:

My habit is laying down in a loft bed, where I have a metal arm which attaches my iPad to the bed frame, effectively freeing up my hands. Thankfully I was good about keeping porn separate from my desktop, laptop, and phone.

I let the iPad run out of battery. This way, when I get an urge, I not only have to take down the iPad and recharge it, but then climb back up the ladder to my bed. So far, this has created a significant delay between the trigger and the action. The delay is long enough so that PMO is one heck of a conscious decision and not simply an impulse.

I did this 8 days ago, which leaves me 8 days free of pornography and 6 days free of masturbation.

 

Thank you for mentioning this. I think the origin of the death grip was in response to the decreased sensitivity of medication, coupled with the compulsive need to do it more frequently as the addiction got stronger. I did taper the meds before I stopped ~6 weeks ago, so I'm pretty sure it's out of my system now. This means PMO is the main culprit.

 

Thanks gentlemen, for all the encouragement. One more successful day. It's now been 1 full week without orgasm and 9 days without pornography.

I'm exercising, meditating, challenging my brain, taking fish-oil, and doing everything else I can think of to increase BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor) and stimulate neural recovery. I don't know if it will get worse before it gets better, but I'm ready to tackle tomorrow.

cheers.

 

Currently 6 days clean, tomorrow will be 7th. I went 20 days without masturbation and 22 without porn before I had a two day binge. It wasn't that hard once I got past the first week, so I know I can do better this time around.

The trigger was almost an accident. I looked up an actress online and hadn't put Bing's safe search on (yes I use Bing). It was just a stupid faked picture, but it kickstarted an overwhelming desire for release. From there it was no longer an accident, but a decision.

Here's the concerning thing: It was sooooo much better than real sex. I purposefully delayed the orgasm so that I could receive more and more dopamine hits with every new link I clicked. I was even wondering why I bother with real women. I've been having sensitivity issues and perhaps just the slightest bit of PIED. Because of these issues, sex with my girlfriend wasn't doing it for either of us, and leaving me with terrible blue balls.

I binged that day, but after reading studies which show testosterone spikes 7 days after ejaculation, I binged the next day too. I don't feel bad about the second day, because I have a big interview tomorrow and wanted to set myself up for a testosterone edge. That was more of a deliberate and calculated decision. I do feel bad about the first day though. There was definitely a 2 or 3 day chaser effect, but I've not acted on it.

I suppose this is going to happen from time to time, but after seeing how long I went, I have no doubt that I can go even longer this time.