No release after more than 40 days (blue balls)

I've somehow gone through 40+ days without a wet dream. Around the 30 day mark I did some serious edging for around 10 minutes and was verging on relapse but ultimately made it through. I've had sex dreams before and since then but all without a release. Interestingly, I don't think I've had any dreams about watching porn this time round, only about having sex.

I'm getting concerned now as I'm pretty sore with a serious case of blue balls. My body is telling me it is time for a release I guess but I think subconsciously I'm fighting it off. What should I do?

Edit - it finally happened around the 46th/47th day mark, see latest post

 

Well I was at work and remembered that I'd sent some emails through a P site a month back. The thought that I might have received a reply was driving me crazy so I logged in. Sure enough there was an email back and that just set me off.

I think the safety net of being at work and not being able to act on anything was what led me to do it. I could feel the dopamine rushing through my body straight away, I was shaking...it wasn't good. I managed to stop and I've now deleted that email address and all links to the site.

You can install image/flash blockers in any web browser if you're worried about triggers or even avoid those sites entirely. In Firefox I use ImageBlock 3.1.

 

It passed fortunately, the same day actually. But yeah, all the more reason to avoid edging

 

It seems I have been using the wrong terminology, I thought 'edging' meant skirting around triggering material and risking escalation to full-fledged porn.

I did not touch myself during the incident above nor did I view explicit content but I was close to getting there. I began to fantasize and was getting semi-aroused.

 

I finally had that wet dream but sadly it was about accessing porn

I was in my brother's room at our old house downloading/watching 3 scenes (while he and his girlfriend slept in their bed right next to the PC )... then he woke up so I was frantically trying to put them onto a memory stick rather than having to delete them. The memory stick ran out of space so I could only choose one...all the while other people in the house started coming into the room. I was desperately moving around the files and minimizing windows etc. and then the transfer crashed. It didn't end there though...I hadn't given up just yet and was still trying to recover the file even with the chaos around me.

I remember the emotions I felt vividly. The anxiety that someone would find out what I was doing but also the overriding desperation to gain access to the porn highlighted by my refusal to just delete the files and walk away despite everything that was going on.

Clearly, my brain is still trying to sabotage me after everything...but fuck my brain. You will be rewired no matter how much you fight it you little bitch!