No porn in 20 days... but I masturbated to an ASMR video. Is this a big deal?

BEFORE I ANSWER -

Tell me what ASMR means. If you insist on using abbreviations, please explain them.

 

Do you ever watch male asmr videos?

 

OK, thanks. Btw congratulations on 20 days - awesome!

I didn't want to watch the video, but I get the idea. I suppose, it could be a one-off that you were affected this way. It could be that it became sexual for you because your body was craving dopamine after 3 weeks of abstinence. What is sexual to one person is not to another. Even for the same person, they will be more affected on one given day than another.

Getting turned on by a non-sexual ASMR video and fapping is not the same as watching hardcore porn and flicking through video after video to find the right one. Even so, a significant amount of dopamine would have been released, setting back your rewiring process. If you start feeling horny in a similar situation in future, I suggest you stop the video and have a cold shower or whatever else helps to kill the vibe.

 

I never heard of asmr until u mentioned it so I watched your link and checked a few others. And ahhh man this would def make me horny and possibly end my 10 day NoFap days. This would set your rewiring process back for sure I think

 

No way am I watching that after 1 week!! That would be like a massage sexting session to me and I don't think id last half the video.

 

First, will you please remove that video link. That is a trigger to so many people here, so no that isn't really "permitted."

Secondly,

These two statements clash. You are an addict, you are just choosing to not admit it, most likely for ego reasons - of which I understand all to well. If you weren't addicted, than 20 days shouldn't mean anything different that 100 or 10. You are addicted though, which is why it matters.

Just because you are not fapping non stop like some of us were, doesn't mean you were not addicted. Secondly, I watched about 10 seconds of the video and read your description and that was enough. They may not be "sexual" videos in the manner that they are porn, but they are porn in their own likeness. It is similar to the discussion of erotic literature, technically you are not viewing porn, but you are reading it. Well this "relaxing technique" you used to get you off, instead of viewing traditional porn, you imagined porn in your mind or just decided that a girls face was sexy enough to get off to. Either way, in my book it is porn. A cheerleader can be porn, if you are using it that way, so can an old lady.

If you truly and whole heartedly felt that you didn't have a problem, A - you wouldn't be here most likely, and B - you wouldn't have to ask if this was a big deal or not. But something in your mind tells you that you do have an issue, and I encourage you to listen to it.

This video for you, as well as for me if I made it that way, is a sexual fantasy and porn. But you are not addicted, so no it isn't a big deal at all...

 

Could you give me the link to the ASMR video that you accidently fapped to? I want to see if this is the thing i can relax too because i have hard time sleeping at night. Thanks

 

This is the thing with PMO - some people find this arousing, others find it boring as boring can be. We have to be careful, as what is a trigger for one is not a trigger at all for another.

 

Would you really risk the trigger? If you have trouble sleeping, check out the link in my signature. It explains an awesome trick for falling asleep and it doesn't involve any sexy woman triggering you like they do in those videos...

I sincerely think that these videos are an alternative to porn for most of you straight guys...

 

Yes, it is all a matter of degree. As I said before, "What is sexual to one person is not to another. Even for the same person, they will be more affected on one given day than another." But arousal is not the only consideration here. One of the consequences of our porn-addled brains is sexual objectification. For this reason, I consider a programme like Games of Thrones to be unsuitable. Not everyone agrees with this, but I believe a complete rest from sexual stuff for a few months is hugely beneficial.

 

I practice this same thing. If a program has mild sexual in it, I turn away. I now look up movie ratings with my GF before we watch something, if it says much about nudity we typically wont watch it, not because she is watching out for PMO for me, but that we want a healthy mind and don't want to subject ourselves to that.

Just because P isn't an issue doesn't mean M isn't or that you aren't an addict. It just means in a different manner than other people. I would say anything you cannot quit cold turkey, one and done, makes you addicted to it. If you need it and it isn't a natural thing like food, water... you are addicted to it.

If someone is actually curious about the video, they can youtube it themselves, no need to subject hundreds of other people who came here for a safe place.

 

I'm pretty sure if you weren't addicted to fapping, you wouldn't have relapsed. You masturbated to a video which did turn you on = opposite of nofap. Just an opinion.

 

Master Chief: You make a series of quite reasonable points in my opinion. But the overwhelming majority of people who come to this site do so because PMO is troubling them and infringing on their lives in multiple ways. I do not think it is helpful to be discussing the merits of what classifies or qualifies an addiction to this. Consensus on the matter is that acting out to anything sexual in nature is akin to acting out to porn. It is amazing to what degree an addicted brain can rationalize and obtain satisfaction from P subs. Like, for instance, I was Jerkin it to you tube clips of bikini/yoga/thongs stuff for a while because my restrictions I have set out do not allow me any avenue to porn proper. When the deed is done I feel just as spent as though I had watched porn (all be it lower grade stuff). The reasoning for being on this site is quite solid. It is to help those with concerns over how all those things discussed on YBOP (and others) to stay in touch with a community of people with shared interests in this venture. I am addicted to porn and masturbation. I have had a hell of a time dealing with it. I think it is good that you have joined the community (without being addicted) but just keep in mind that most of us are.

 

I'm pretty sure sex for passing down our "genes" is no longer needed due to overpopulation. Our sexuality has been twisted and morphed by our culture, over sexualized and extremely exaggerated. As a student of cultural and biological anthropology, the "need" of passing down our genes for survival no longer apply. Our intense physical desire for sex is actually programmed by everything around us, media, television, magazines, internet, ads, apps. Almost everything. Sex sells. Simple as that. Sex for pleasure and sex for procreation are different. When you're jerking off who exactly are you impregnating? Your hand? Your computer? The false fantasy of some random woman? That "I biologically need it" thing is just so overrated and full of it. Plus by yourself vs with someone are VERY different. But I wish you all the best, stay strong!