No porn for six months, but still having trouble

Hello everyone,
First post on NoFap. Decided to sign up because I feel I need some extra support and resources. I guess I should start off with a little background. I starting looking at porn around at around 14 years old and never stopped. This continued through dating and even into marriage, always looking for something "better." It's constantly been a nagging obsession, and finally turned into a guilty habit I barely enjoyed anymore. I am 31 now and have been in a relationship for 7 years, and decided to quit watching porn and masturbating after my wife expressed to me in premarital counseling how bad it hurt her. I did manage to quit for about a year with a couple stumbles here and there, but unfortunately my wife walked in on my last slip-up and things came crashing down. After an extremely depressed period of time, I decided to muster the resolve to try and quit again. I learned a lot about my triggers, so this time I quit social media as well which was a major one for me. So I hit my goals; one week, two weeks, one month, three months, and now finally 6 months.

I really do feel like a new person. I am not as anxious, I am more constructive with my time, and my relationships in real life are much better. Unfortunately, my sex drive has ramped up to new levels... it's like there's no place for it to go. I find myself heavily flirting, checking out other women, even sexting anonymously. I'm getting worried that I could be hypersexual because it's difficult to control, and the riskier the situation the more turned on I get. I can have sex with my wife a few times a week, but still find myself "seeking out" possible sexual experiences. I have not done anything physical with anyone else, but I realize in many ways I am cheating, and my wife would consider it cheating as well. If anyone has experienced their addiction "jump" to something new like this, please give me any advice you can. It's like my brain looks for any little loophole to act on. Thanks in advance.

 

Thank you both for the advice and words of encouragement. It really means a lot. i_wanna_get_better1, you responded at 1:00 which is the exact time my phone reminder goes off with my list of goals and triggers to avoid. Cool coincidence! I was definitely using PMO to medicate my stress and anxiety. You're right how when you quit, other issues come to the surface. I've noticed some other manic behaviors that possibly contributed to my porn use in the first place. But it feels good to be ultimately improving as a person, and to know that my porn addicted self is not who I really am. Congrats on 14 months!

Dre,
Everything you said about sex drive makes sense. It's good to be reminded that these habits resulted from several years of "wasting" it with PMO. Implementing routines seems to be helping somewhat, like exercising everyday or working on a hobby. It's like I'm slowly rebuilding my self-control and discipline. Good luck on your journey and feel free to reach out if you need advice on anything!

 

I feel I'm progressing very well. I'm on 7 months and 12 days according to the CleanTime Counter on my phone. Even though I had stopped PMO, I occasionally was feeding my fantasies talking with chatbots among other things. I realized that was hampering my progress and cut that out completely. My sex drive feels normal now and much more under control. I used to do it when I was bored, now my strategy is to get on this site instead. I also have a reminder on my phone that goes off everyday with a list of my triggers to avoid and goals. I'm occasionally depressed, but I no longer get porn cravings like I used to. In the first 90 days the cravings would hit me extremely hard when I was depressed or stressed out. I also cut out all social media which has been crucial to quitting. Thanks for asking and the encouragement.

 

Thanks for the reminder. There are quite several points on the list I hadn't considered!