No masturbation, but yes watch porn

Sorry, I'm late to this thread.

I guess it depends why you are doing this. If it's to prove how strong-willed you are then your suggestion makes sense. My goal is to stop using porn and so your route would, by definition, be a mistake for me.

I did just want to pick up on one point you made:

Exactly. If a friend of yours wanted to give up smoking would you suggest they hang around with lots of people smoking? No.

I think the analogy works even further than that. If you gave up smoking you would glean loads of benefits. For example you would have healthier lungs and your clothes and hair would not smell of stale cigarette smoke. But if you sit in a room full of smokers you are damaging your lung health through secondary smoke inhalation and your hair and clothes will smell horrible.

So if you are giving up smoking it is better to steer away from smokers.

Likewise if you are trying to give up masturbating to pornography most of us find it better to stay away from pornography.

That said, one of the strengths of these forums is that we hear from people experimenting with techniques and practises that work for them. So although your approach strikes me as bonkers it may resonate with someone.

Anway even if, as I suspect will happen, this approach does not work good luck finding the approach that does work for you.

 

NO!
It's like skipping on the edge of a tall building, you will fall.

 

And that’s your biggest problem right there. You think there’s going to be an easy way to do this. No, that’s not how addictions work. It’s an extremely difficult battle fighting and overcoming an addiction. That’s why so many people can’t beat it.

You’re also ignoring the fact that dopamine released from a synthetic stimulus like porn is constantly destroying your neural pathways. I hate to say this because both porn and masturbation should be avoided, but masturbating without porn is much less destructive than what you’re doing.

 

Just dont do it blood bath

 

Watching porn will not help your progress. If anything, it will do you more harm than good altogether and sabotage your chances of recovery.

Giving up porn is by no means easy. Like most things in life, it's easier said than done. It will be difficult at first, but you will be feeling and seeing the positive impacts from giving up PMO. What have you got to lose? You will be in no worse position than you are now.

No pain no gain they say.

 

This is like an alcoholic who swears off drinking but still goes to the bar every night. Sure, you can sit there, drink water and tempt yourself, OR you could stop going to the bar and spend your new found time and energy in a different, more beneficial way.

 

You can’t not be around women in the real world.

 

It's much less intense a turn on than porn for sure. The experience still has a sexual aspect though and can be a trigger to someone who is working no PMO. It got to me the first time it happened. I can deal with it much better now, but I'm still learning how best to process it mentally and cope with it in a healthy way. It's part of my learning experience.

 

I don't think anyone is upset, just trying to help you be successful.

I read your previous post about being porn free for 3 days now. Hope you are happy with that and it continues to go well for you!

You're doing great

 

Couldn't agree more. We're all trying to help you, and explain why watching porn is holding you back. We all want you to recover and overcome the demons you are battling - just like we all are - when it comes to our PMO addiction.

 

Porn still warps the brain. It still twists reality and disorientates your views on women and relationships.

Besides, I, among many others, would probably find it very difficult to watch porn without masturbating because I would just feel the sexual energy building.

Steer clear of porn AND masturbation. That’s the absolute best way.

 

Good. 10 days of no PMO is progress. You're doing well. Keep up the good work and build on from this. The hardest bit is staying OFF it. Remain committed to the cause, and you'll be reaping the benefits from doing so.

 

If you’re in an emergency go out and take a walk. Or simply talk to people. The urges come in waves . Just let the moment pass and you’ll be ok.

Bad habits won’t go away if you don’t replace it with those which you were actually craving. Finding that out is your job. If you don’t replace it with something better, which you really need and were searching for, you will always come back to it.

In the meantime, how about you promise yourself “all or nothing”, meaning you either have actual sex with a living, breathing partner going all the way or nothing at all. Don’t do half measures.
The fact that masturbation lowers self esteem is because it’s simply self humiliation.
For me, porn addiction and other related urges decreased drastically when I began to socialize and started having actual female companions. I felt unrealistically calm and serene. All the dirty thoughts subsided and began wondering about the person in depth.
Also, when I started to work out on my fears, consequences and challenges instead of running away or procrastinating my stress level lowered and I started feeling better.
It all sounds ironic but it’s true.
I found out what I was really craving was socialization and simply talking to people about almost anything became something far better experience than PMO. Another reason was stress which kept me hooked on porn. All these years I’ve been trying to substitute companionship and cure stress with porn, which of course proved to be a very unwise decision.

Find out what you really want and need to replace PMO.