No Alcohol

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Majik, Nov 20, 2018.

  1. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    I am not really sure where to post this, so will start here and see how it goes :)

    In October I decided that would be a good time to try giving up PMO again, having not really thought about it much the previous couple of years. After a couple of failed attempts I tried again in November, but also decided to give up drinking for the month, maybe longer. An idea I have toyed with, on and off, for quite some time. (I do not feel like I have a drink problem at all. Just to clarify) I also realised that this would help with giving up PMO, as coming home drunk or waking up feeling rubbish and lazy are prime weak points with regards to that.
    Normally I get a really good boost to my energy levels. It did not happen in May, when I last tried it after a winter of excess. This time it has been really good. Sometimes a little challenging in social situations. Getting used to having a soft drink, or nothing, can be a little odd, but I am loving the alertness and sharpness that comes with it!

    I did fail at 'No Nut November', but now I am on a bit of a roll. Not drinking has definitely helped on the willpower front. (Wow, the willpower needs to be strong!)
    That means it took about 10 days of not drinking before it had any effect on my P use. Obviously there are other factors involved. I am not a heavy drinker by any means, but I do like the odd glass of wine, and beers with friends. I used to really like getting drunk. It is fun! Maybe was. I don't really like it as much any more, plus the day after is getting bad. Then there is the low energy levels for a good 2 or 3 days. Perhaps it is because I am getting older. More sensitive perhaps.

    Anyway! I was wondering what other people's experiences are with alcohol in general. Anyone here given it up for long amounts of time? Or found that they had to to go along with no PMO? What benefits, or negative experiences have you had as a result?
     
  2. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Can you explain this to me? How can you like getting drunk? In what way is it fun? To me, it seems that drunk people are out of control - of their emotions, thoughts, bladder, bowel, stomach contents and dignity. So, what is good about it? :confused:
     
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  3. Tryinghardtoquit

    Tryinghardtoquit Fapstronaut

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    Hi man. I had a big break from alcohol recently. 50 days infact. It went hand in hand with my biggest streak of 67 days. I say it is hugely beneficialto the nofap cause
     
  4. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    Good point. Drunk people are annoying. Especially when you are sober! I am realising this more and more recently. I guess I really liked the whole 'having fun' together with other drunk people. Enjoying random chat with friends over a few beers. Feeling more relaxed and less inhibited. That false sense of confidence that makes it seem easier to dance and chat to women etc. The atmosphere of fun when you are on a good night out. I never thought that I was a 'problem drunk'. Losing control of your bladder, bowel and stomach contents are pretty far up the scale of drunkeness.
    When I say "I like getting drunk", I mean more in the 'a bit drunk' sense of the word, rather than smashed and legless. But I am not sure that I do really like that feeling any more. Plus the after effects are increasingly not worth it.
    I do also look back and on actions that I regret. Nothing major really, but still. On the flip side of that, I have also got together with women and relationships have come from nights out, which may not have happened otherwise.
    It is complicated, because alcohol has become so integrated into our society. It is such a large part of socialising. I have a theory that we learn a lot of our social skills at a time when we are also starting to drink and experiment with alcohol. As a result, I feel like I would need to give up alcohol for a long period of time (6 months, maybe a year) in order to 'relearn' those skills and feel comfortable in those social situations. It takes practice. I have had the odd few weeks here and there. Saturday night was my first big one in this stint. Two friends came to visit me and wanted/needed a big night out (for various reasons). They got pretty hammered, but I mostly had fun, and enjoyed being sharp in conversation. Fortunately they were actually on quite good form, plus there were also less drunk people to chat to sometimes ;) With the added bonus of being 'with it' to get us all home easily.

    This is something that I have probably thought a lot about over the years. Was curious to know of other peoples experience.

    I take it that you are not a drinker, Kamakiri?
     
  5. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    50 days is a big break. How did you feel? Do you think anything positive was from either not drinking or nofap? Or do you think that you got a 'double bubble' of goodness from doing both at the same time? Or was it just torture?! haha
     
  6. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Lol - you guessed. :D

    It is true Majik, although not a confirmed teetotaller, I seldom drink. I cannot remember anytime this year for example. I used to drink more in my 20s and 30s. But I have never got bladdered :rolleyes: [UK slang, i.e. 'far up the scale of being drunk'].

    I ought to lay my cards on the table. As a kid I saw my father drunk on several occasions (max. half a dozen). :oops: He was farting and staggering and belching and dribbling and unintelligible. :( Quite honestly, I was disgusted and ashamed. :( My older brother was an alcoholic by his early 20s. I have seen him many times under the influence of drink, but never drunk. He has never been able to remain sober for very long. But that didn't prevent me from drinking for quite a few years (sweet-medium wine and liqueurs). Later, though, I had severe mental health problems. :( I was sectioned in a psychiatric unit for seven months and I decided to stop drinking, just in case I exacerbated my mental health issues. After a few years, I had an occasional glass of wine or a pint of shandy (half and half mixture of beer and fizzy lemonade) with a pub lunch, but that was it. I have never bought alcohol to consume at home (as I live alone).

    Another relevant factor is that I like to have control over my mind. Depressing my senses to the point where I am no longer alert, cannot express myself according to my real beliefs and lose control of my body is incredibly unappealing to me. It is for this reason, I do not take non-prescription drugs. I want to be me. Although I have many misgivings about myself, I would not seek to mask them to myself or to others with substances like alcohol and drugs.

    Even when people are not shitfaced, I do not find the company of those drinking heavily to be very nice. They are either all over you (loving everybody in an exaggerated way), quiet and moody or threatening and aggressive. Nah, I do not like how it changes people. For example, football is quite popular in the UK (e.g. the premier league). But look at the behaviour of the so-called fans. Littering (at best) and aggression and violence at worst. There is a very concerning binge drinking culture in the UK (apparently). Some regard it as a badge of honour how many cans or pints of alcohol they can consume before they pass out, throw up, piss or shit themselves. What kind of society is that? :eek:

    Even at the tipsy stage, people are changed. So, if you 'get off' with someone you might not have done otherwise, they are not going to wake up with the same version of you when your bloodstream is operating normally. This was an inherent part of my brother's problem. He didn't like who he was, so kept a volume of alcohol inside him which enabled him to be more outgoing, confident and relaxed. In truth, he was fine as himself. No one that knew him well, liked the person he became via alcohol. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to respond so fully and for reading my verbose reply. :D

    Btw, Majik is a very cool name! :cool: Is it your real name or just a username for this web site. Anyway, I like it. :)
     
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  7. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of that. I appreciate it.

    Sorry to hear about your brother. That is sad.

    With regards to mental health, I can identify with what you are saying, a little bit. It definitely does not help on that front. Three summers ago I noticed that I was depressed. I also noticed that even having only had one or two drinks of an evening would have me waking up in the morning absolutely hating life! It was horrible. So then I made the conscious decision to stop for a while. I then went away for my usual ski season, where drinking culture is rife, but kept dry for a couple of weeks, until I started to feel myself again.
    Did find myself in a bit of a rut again about a month ago, so decided to stop again. As well as nofap. I think it has made a difference. It might only be a small one, but if the scales are finely balanced then that can make the possible difference, I think.

    I feel like we may have different views on what is drunk. I should probably clarify what I mean when talking about different stages of being drunk, I guess.
    I totally agree. Heavy drinking is not great. Hanging out with people doing that does get a bit boring after a certain point. Having a few drinks with friends in a relaxed social setting, on the other hand, is something that I do really enjoy. That is also easier to do with not drinking. Plus it is unlikely that all of my friends are suddenly going to stop drinking as well.
    Drinkers often want you to join in, to justify their actions. I have been guilty of that in the past, without realising. BUT, I have realised recently, that they often don't really care, as long as they can have a drink.
    Really drunk people, especially strangers, can be horrible to be around.

    Football fans are another kettle of fish. Don't even get me started. An advert for not drinking if ever there was one! Obviously it is not ALL football fans, but it is prevalent in that sub culture.

    In short, I agree with mostly everything that you say. Although I feel that, to an extent, you may be demonising drinking. Like you, I don't touch drugs and much prefer to be more authentic and myself. Something that I am learning a lot more about this summer. Trying to find myself, to use a much used cliche. I am torn, because I do really like red wine, especially with a good meal, and in company. Plus the odd beer after a hard days graft when it is hot. I am not currently in 'give up forever' mode, but definitely curious about how my life could be different if I did. I guess the only way to find out is to have a long go at it and then find out! I think that I am scared that I will become boring! haha

    And thank you, that is very kind. No, it is a made up name just for this forum, and one like it from a couple of years ago :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2018
  8. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

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    My both brothers are alcoholic, they really wasted their lives because of alcohol. The people who get affected by the alcoholics around them understood
    problems that alcohol causes and people might use excuse ''it's fun'' while there isn't anything like that and it would be the same as being in company of people who took high dosage of antidepressants from which ones they got very high and don't feel anxious. It's also about dopamine release of brain, even when after that you can feel x1000 times more shitty, I don't really see common sense behind the alcohol as it makes you only much worse in social situations as you will always need to depend on the substance as drug addict and you will say :''I can't talk really in company freely as I feel anxious!'' but it's persons fault, as he always depended on alcohol to have somekind conversation.
     
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  9. Tryinghardtoquit

    Tryinghardtoquit Fapstronaut

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    For me
    I felt it was a double bonus. In the past some of my PMO or worse behaviour (massage palours etc) was more likely when I had been drinking. I thought if I am serious about NoFap I should do a dry period. Hence the 50 days. The less things clouding our judgement the better!
     
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  10. Poseidongodofthesea

    Poseidongodofthesea Fapstronaut

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    For many years used alcohol as a tool to get out of my comfort zone but I think after 2.5 year practicing nofap and meditation I think I can have fun with out it . I have been practicing cultivating good feeling's and why not for many years I could feed my anger with just thoughts and it works I can get myself really worked up so why not use that power but in a positive way at my beck and call . So I just feed that emotion with just a thought not to much we're people think I am crazy . The guru's call this bliss my control of my emotions is only at it's begining stages but I plan to explore and learn my nature and learn through meditation and practice how to master myself . I have been having lots of heart felt deep laughs that are so joyful ....We all have the chemistry in our brains to make this possible with just a thought without using any drugs to release these chemical's in our brains . So have a soda water with a twist of lime and party enjoy you can activate the chemistry in your brain by just engaging with others to get that release of chemicals. What works for me is striking up a conversation with another or just playing with people to get a + reaction have fun laugh dance ect . No hangovers eithier !
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2018
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  11. Address_Unknwn

    Address_Unknwn Fapstronaut

    I like drinking. But it's not good for my recovery. I believe moderation is possible, but I'm not very good at it.
    As you mentioned yourself, coming home drunk is a weak point, as I often seek out sex or PMO when I'm drunk. And my guard is lowered, if it's even still there.
    Another negative thing about alcohol is how it impacts sleep. I fall asleep quickly but wake up feeling tired, as your body does not rest very well having to process the alcohol.

    So I'm planning a dry month very soon. We'll see how that goes.
     
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  12. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    I agree. When I was younger I could never understand a couple of people I knew who felt that they needed to take ecstasy in order for a big night out to be a good one. But I did also realise how hypocritical my thoughts were, because I felt the same about alcohol! Which is also a drug. Just a legal and 'socially acceptable' one. I can totally see wha you mean. People get reliant on it in social situations, without even realising most of the time! I am keen to get over that, for sure. I had not quite looked at it that way. Thank you :)

    Thinking about it now, I even have a current friend who has started singing, but she won't get up to sing in front of people until she has had her glass of wine. I find this all very interesting.
     
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  13. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    I am just starting to realise this fully. How we feel is a choice! Also reading 'The Art of Happiness' with the Dalai Lama, which highlights this, and like you say, it takes practice! Especially if you have conditioned yourself with negative thoughts over the years. I used to take pride in how positive I was, and how mentally strong. Lost my way somewhere along the line. Now it is time to rebuild and rediscover myself.
     
  14. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    Yes, what is it about alcohol that when we get drunk we then want to get REALLY drunk?! haha Madness.

    Totally effects sleep. I find it ironic when people say that a drink helps them get to sleep. It is counter productive.

    Good luck with the dry month my friend. Let us know how it goes!
    (Today is day 21 for me :) )
     
  15. Havent drank in over a month. Best month in a long long time.
     
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  16. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    Great!! What made you decide to do that?
     
  17. main cause of relapses as already outlined in the thread. I dont want another day of my life wasted on hangover, I want healthy sleep, no anxiety, stability in my life. I feel amazing and i dont miss it one bit.
     
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  18. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    I am really starting to feel that way also.

    Have you noticed any benefits in particular? Other than what you have listed above?
     
  19. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

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    it's great audiobook to listen to, it explains a lot of things regarding the life.
     
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  20. Majik

    Majik Fapstronaut

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    Great! Thanks! I will take some time to listen to that :)
     
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