No accident...

I've been masturbating to porn a long time.

It caused problems in my marriage as I preferred it to sex with my now ex wife. The quick fix didn't teach me patientce.

That was 5 years ago I still need to jerk off before bed to fall asleep.

I've fallen in to the rut where I don't even enjoy it I do it cause it gives me that temporary release, moment of relaxation at times when I look for an escape. It's definetly a tool in my procrastination tool box.

I'm not here to beat myself up, but to improve. God is good and accepts us all. If I relapse oh well I'll pick my self up and try again.

At 39, turning 40 soon I am at the point where I don't want to settle and want to try to make life as good as possible. Again I know I won't be perfect but I'll get there.

I tried recently to stop I made it about a week. I'm living to please God which I know will benefit me so I'll keep trying.

Oh btw I stumbled on this site and the whole nofap thing in general a couple of hours ago. I know it was no accident. God helps those who help themselves.

To all those who've been at it at while- keep up the good work it doesn't go to waste! Everyday is a chance to live right!