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Newbie needs help and support

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by markuskuenzli, Mar 30, 2017.

  1. Mar 30, 2017 #1
    markuskuenzli

    markuskuenzli Fapstronaut

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    Hi Guys

    I'm a 25 years old straight white male. I apologize for any linguistic mistakes - English isn't my first language.

    I think I saw the first pornographic movie when I was 13 or 14. First it wasn't really an issue. I didn't watch porn very often and the viewed material was quite "basic". Over the years my porn consumption has risen and reached its peak probably between 2011 and 2014. I could watch porn every day for several hours. Not only did I spend an increasing amount of time on porn, I also watched quite hard pornography, which would leave me ashamed after I ejaculated. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about illegal stuff, but let's say I saw practices I wouldn't do in real life.

    Probably around two years ago I first thought that this probably wasn't normal, but I failed to see my addiction. Nevertheless have I meanwhile been able to reduce my consumption to about 1hr every two or three days. Funny thing is, my addiction never really had a negative effect on my social life. I'm in a relationship (my porn addiction is the only secret I'm keeping from her... I just couldn't tell her about it...), I am loved by and I love my family and I have some real long-term friends. But lately I could feel that I got less aroused by my girlfriend. I don't really feel like our sex-life is really great and I blame myself for it because of my addiction.

    Now finally, I can see that I'm an addict. Nine days ago, on 03/21/17, I decided to stop watching porn. It's been quite hard... I masturbated two days ago, but without watching porn. Later want to quit masturbating too, but for now, I want to focus on the porn addiction. It's actually hard enough...

    So yeah, I would be happy if you could give me some positive words, some motivation, strength and willpower to hang on :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
    markuskuenzli, Mar 30, 2017
    markuskuenzli, Mar 30, 2017
    #1
    Whackless and D . J . like this.
  2. Mar 30, 2017 #2
    D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    Since you are very early in your journey, I would suggest that consider tackling both P and M at the same time. You may find that continuing to M may bring you back to P. The two are most likely linked in your mind, as they are with many others. Just a suggestion.

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
    D . J ., Mar 30, 2017
    D . J ., Mar 30, 2017
    #2
    Whackless likes this.
  3. Mar 31, 2017 #3
    markuskuenzli

    markuskuenzli Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your kind words.

    I have thought about quitting P and M at the same time... but I'm not really a strong person. So I think, I'm more likely to give up and fail if I quit P and M at the same time and not just only P. However I want to strongly reduce M.. actually I'm pretty surprised and glad that M is even possible without P...

    My current strategies... I blocked porn websites on my computer, so I don't have an easy access. Plus I try to keep myself busy, so I wouldn't even have time to watch porn. I work more, do more for school, reorganise my home-office etc. Looking back, I always watched porn when I was home alone and bored.. it was just a "time-filler" rather than real sexual satisfaction.
     
    markuskuenzli, Mar 31, 2017
    markuskuenzli, Mar 31, 2017
    #3
    D . J . and Whackless like this.
  4. Mar 31, 2017 #4
    Whackless

    Whackless Fapstronaut

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    :emoji_wave:
     
    Whackless, Mar 31, 2017
    Whackless, Mar 31, 2017
    #4
  5. Mar 31, 2017 #5
    esforzado

    esforzado Fapstronaut

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    OK, Markus, it is important to have a reason when quitting, a good reason, a reason that is important to you. This habit is a habit we probably would not quit unless it had some bad repercussions in our lives. Cigarette smokers would not quit if it did not affect them adversely. They lose lung capacity and eventually get cancer. There are all kinds of bad results from using porn all the time. From PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) to social interaction problems.
    "When I quit, I quit. I did not count the days, I woke up every morning and said to myself I am never going back". I think that is the mindset you must have.
     
    esforzado, Mar 31, 2017
    esforzado, Mar 31, 2017
    #5
  6. Mar 31, 2017 #6
    markuskuenzli

    markuskuenzli Fapstronaut

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    Hey esforzado... thanks a lot for your reply :)

    yeah what's my reason... well I do not suffer from PIED, I don't have any problems getting a good and lasting erection. I just want to quit porn before it's too late. Too late regarding PIED, but also regarding my girlfriend. She doesn't know about my addiction and I want to quit it, before she ever gets to know.
     
    markuskuenzli, Mar 31, 2017
    markuskuenzli, Mar 31, 2017
    #6
  7. Mar 31, 2017 #7
    D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips which may help you along your journey.
     
    D . J ., Mar 31, 2017
    D . J ., Mar 31, 2017
    #7

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