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Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by markyhoho, Sep 17, 2018.

  1. Sep 17, 2018 #1
    markyhoho

    markyhoho New Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I am brand new to the NoFap community so I'm not too sure I'm posting this in the right spot.

    In short, I have been masturbating for 20+ years and I have been heavily addicted to porn for about 10 years. These addictions have definitely caused some problems in my relationships to the point where I honestly just stopped trying to date. I am a single guy that certainly doesn't act single if you know what I mean. Anyway, I met a girl a few months ago and my reasoning for finally trying to put an end to porn habit was due to the first night I spent with her.

    We were in her bed, making out and I could not get hard. This was my first "sexual" encounter in a couple of years and I'm sure my addiction has something to do with my inability to not get hard but I'm just wondering if I will ever recover. I'm still dating her but there is only so long she will stick around before she truly gives up on me. I really do not know what to do. I've now gone 7 days without masturbating (I continued to M even without P just by using my imagination), in hopes that the next time I spend the night with her I will get hard just on the sheer fact that I haven't had a release in such a long time. Any advice you can provide will be appreciated. Thank you.
     
    markyhoho, Sep 17, 2018
    markyhoho, Sep 17, 2018
    #1
  2. Sep 17, 2018 #2
    Isitfridayyet

    Isitfridayyet New Fapstronaut

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    Hi, new here too. I am a bit older and it took me years just to lose my virginity. After doing it twice more i was left with the feeling that i had imagined the real thing to be better....and it wasn't.
     
    Isitfridayyet, Sep 17, 2018
    Isitfridayyet, Sep 17, 2018
    #2
  3. Sep 18, 2018 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Welcome! Keep coming around. Lots of support here. Also I suggest looking up SAA-Recovery.org, FightTheNewDrug, and YourBrainOnPorn on the internet. Those three websites were huge helps for me.

    Good luck!
     
    Deleted Account, Sep 18, 2018
    Deleted Account, Sep 18, 2018
    #3
  4. Sep 18, 2018 #4
    Burrich1

    Burrich1 Fapstronaut

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    Hey @markyhoho PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) is something a lot of people suffer from on this board. They say the best way to end it is thru the 90 day reboot. It takes time for your body to revert back, build new neuro-pathways and regain sensitivity. Some people take way longer, and some people fix it quicker.

    Also, Maybe you should share your problem with your new girlfriend, and tell her what you have been trying to do to fix it. She may be supportive, and sharing something intimate about yourself could bring you closer together. On the other hand, it could backfire and she may decide she doesn’t want to deal with it. Good luck! This board is full of awesome resources.
     
    Burrich1, Sep 18, 2018
    Burrich1, Sep 18, 2018
    #4
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Sep 19, 2018 #5
    markyhoho

    markyhoho New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you @Burrich1 for the information. I really cannot even imagine sharing this information with her - I've been hiding this habit for years. So in your honest opinion, the 90-day reboot with no P and no M is the way to go? For some reason giving up P has surprisingly not been too difficult for me but I am still masturbating to fantasies and previous sexual experiences but mostly fantasies. I also quit smoking about two weeks into giving up porn so the withdrawals from that have actually been more intense which is probably the reason P withdrawal has taken a back seat. Thank you again for the info.
     
    markyhoho, Sep 19, 2018
    markyhoho, Sep 19, 2018
    #5
    Burrich1 likes this.
  6. Sep 19, 2018 #6
    markyhoho

    markyhoho New Fapstronaut

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    markyhoho, Sep 19, 2018
    markyhoho, Sep 19, 2018
    #6
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Sep 19, 2018 #7
    Burrich1

    Burrich1 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, at the very least, I would give up P&M for 90 days. Maybe O for at least 30? That’s what I did.

    My story is pretty much the same as yours. M for over 30 years, P for about 15. Practically daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. I’ve never had PIED, but for many many years, I’ve been unable to finish in any of the conventional ways with another person. It’s messed up a lot of relationships.

    I have a new girl In The past 2 months. I’ve disclosed everything to her. We had sex for the first time about a month ago, when I was a month into NoFap. Things worked well for me for the first time in many many years. I’m actually glad she knew about everything though. It’s too difficult to explain why she can’t make me finish, and I’m glad I didn’t have to go thru that again.

    If you use a death grip, when you M without any lube, it could take you even longer to get over your PIED. There are a lot of resources here and a lot of people who have dealt with that in their reboots, all taking different lengths of time. You need to rebuild your neuropathways, and regain sensitivity down below. Just give it time and stay strong. I would defiantly start with the 90 days no P&M first. Even if your not 100% better, you will have enough noticeable differences by then in your life where I’m sure you will want to continue. Good luck, and the board is here for you if you need any of us.
     
    Burrich1, Sep 19, 2018
    Burrich1, Sep 19, 2018
    #7
    Deleted Account likes this.

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