New to Forums

Hello all I'm new to the forums but not to NoFap, just hit my 60 day mark which I posted about here and some of this info is repeat: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/recovery-journal-starting-at-day-60.147283/

Background:
- As a kid I was jealous of girls breasts but grew out of it then I started fapping when I was 11 and found out I was turned on by vore in movies and women being eaten.
- I was bullied in school due to medical issues as well as being a nerd so that hurt my self-esteem
- I couldn't do what I used to like anymore because of medical issues so I started spending more time inside and that lead to more and more porn usage versus just once in a while
- I found out about Dolcett by googling
- I started to get into Sissy/transgendered person porn and wanted to be one myself
- I wanted to have fun like they were. I wanted to be the one getting attention and taking care of men and having fun doing so even though I'm not attracted to guys at all just their penis because I thought it was expected.
- I wanted to star in porn and be in videos and photo-shoots for all of my fetishes and have my own breasts to play with and have played with because it gets attention and I'm attracted to them so if I have them others would be attracted to me.

Present:
-I don't know what makes me happy.. Instead of looking at porn I'm staring at the ceiling or computer screen with nothing in my head really.
- I do have one hobby I keep going to but it doesn't give me the dopamine hit but I do work on it fairly often
-I have tried to find a hobby and got myself into a lot of debt trying to find something I actually like to do so I'm working that debt off living off just Beans and Rice
-My brain still tries to get me to go back down the road to become a woman and tries to twist it now that I can make a lot of money streaming online