I'm not certain what to write- I'm new here. And newly discovering that I may have some addictive/compulsive behavior with sex and porn. This seems odd, even to me, considering I'm a female... I've tried to stop on my own and find myself constantly telling myself "today is the last time." Over the years it's become more frequent (daily use) and more violent. Yesterday I found myself watching something so disturbing that I felt terrible and at the same time couldn't turn it off. What I watch is also what I seek in real life- which is 1-not realistic 2- dangerous. I have never truly been intimate with someone and anything aside from violence makes me uncomfortable. I need help and I ultimately feel damaged, unworthy, and disgusting.
Hey Panda! Welcome! You're not disgusting, you're not unworthy... but you might be damaged ; ) Me too I started doing very weird stuff until I realized it was no good to me. Now it's been 1 month since I stopped fapping and, hey, it feels great. be strong!
Your not unworthy or disgusting, or even damaged. You need to realize you deserve something more, that you are worth something more. The violence is negative attention, taking the place of positive attention. You may have blinders on to someone concerned for you and waiting to help you and love you!
