New here. Trying to save my relationship.

Hello,

i just came across this forum today. Everything started for me several years ago and I’m starting to realize I have a real problem.

I started using a freelance site many years ago to hire artists and graphic designers. I’ve always been kind of a shy person. I discovered that on this same same female models were on there selling there services for product promotion etc. others were on there simply to model.

I’d hire many of these girls to model in specific clothing I find attractive. I was dripping I’d say close to a thousand a year on these photos.

My addiction started to get to the point where I would find a girl to hire to not only do photos but to text with me as well and send both videos and photos as we talked.

for a while I was able to get it under control. I got myself into a great relationship and things were going quite well.

I started to get the itch again for those photos and videos so I went back to the site and hired people. My girlfriend found out and Posted all the photos and videos I had purchased on my Facebook page.

We did manage to Work things out. However, I work a very demanding and stressful job. I’m under a lot of pressure both personally and financially. I started back up into my old habits again. What’s worse is my girlfriend completely blames herself and says her self esteem is destroy. I’m on a self destructive path and am almost going to lose my relationship. I need to stop

 

Thank you