New here today

Welcome Howard.
Its good that you are here. This is a great place to be. I also too have sober time in the beverage program so its good to come across another.

 

Hi @Howard F
I am glad to see you made the decision to quit porn.
I think that's a great idea!
I wish you good luck during your reboot!

 

Hey @Howard F ,

I also am a pmo addict and have a few 24 hours in "the beverage program" (sobriety date: 2/16/1996). Here as in AA, I try not to share my opinion, only my experience, strength and hope. Sometimes I'm really good at that and sometimes ... well, you know.

NoFap is secular and science based, where as 12-Step programs are based on putting faith in a Higher Power. One of the other big differences in the NoFap program is "challenges" that include a certain number of days.

My experience is that day challenges don't work for me. Maybe it's that I have too much 12-Step experience and not drinking for just 90 days wouldn't have worked for me either. It's also possible that no pmo for 90 days might sound like 90 years to me.

As my goal in NoFap is different than my goal in AA.

In AA my goal is to take it one day at a time, but, never have that first drink. The first drink is the one I have control over after that, I'm powerless over alcohol.

But, my goal in NoFap is to return to sexual health, not to never have sex again. There are those on here who disagree with me, but I think masturbation without porn is a part of a healthy sex life. It wasn't until I started bombarding my brain with high definition online porn delivered over a high speed internet connection with sound through headphones that I started suffering from PIED, DE and quite a few other problems listed in the NoFap Glossary.

I tried goals, each time setting the number differently - 30 days, 90 days, 7 days and failed.

Then, I realized that even though NoFap and 12-Step are very different in their approach and goals, there is no reason I can't use what I've learned in 12-Step to help me here. I started doing one day at a time with no challenge. My motto became: I didn't pmo today and I don't plan on pmo tomorrow.

I went through the gambit of emotions and phases, but made 90 days. Now, I'm doing some soul searching regarding how to revive and start a healthy sex life. That's a personal journey that I have to work out on my own. I'm not aiming at 100 days or even 120, right now I'm just working out in my head when the restart happens after the reboot.

Glad you are here. As with 12-Step, NoFap is half in the program and half in the fellowship. Start getting to know people on here by opening their profiles and posting a message.

Check your profile, I'm going to leave you a message there with links to just a few people to start saying hello to. Not a complete list, dig around their profiles and find the people they are chatting with. I've found that there is in many ways more "meetings" on profiles than posts.

Keep coming back, we need you here,

L

 

@Roady & @Howard F ,

Stick with @Roady he's in the center of the group.

L

 

Cheers Howard!

 

@Howard F ,

Keep an eye on @I Am that I Am a great inspiration. Keep coming back.

 

Welcome, stopping PMO will be the best decision you can ever make. I hope things work out so that you can rebuild your relationship with your wife and kids.

 

@Howard F

Watch @Former_CD & @I Am that I Am , give them a shout out on their profiles.

L