This is the first time I have ever sought support/help with this issue. I have gone through phases. There have been times when I felt my porn viewing was not such a bad thing. In the past it has led me to seek methods of improving my sexual knowledge and performance. I would filter through videos for certain things that were specifically educational, and the typical click->masturbation cycle was not the main point or activity. I am tantric and erectile dysfunction is far from being one of my problems (I am grateful for this). For a long time it was always my goal to have my watching of porn be a positive contribution to my life. There have been other times where it has gotten in the way of my abilities and responsibilities. During these periods almost all of the signs of porn addiction have been present. The part that scares me the most is the cuckold fantasies and, for lack of a better word, adulterous thoughts. The ever increasing depravity to get the fix is pretty bad too. Other times still, I have just stayed away from it because I just didn't feel it. Those times were usually accompanied by changes in my relationship status. I wouldn't take any of it back, because I have learned a lot from the experience. I know that what it has become is not appropriate, and it needs to stop. I also know that I can't do it alone, and that it is a personal problem that my lady life partner shouldn't have to deal with. I had one particular relapse that really bothered me. That is what prompted my search for resources. I am particularly excited/glad to have found the emergency links. EDIT: In this relapse I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. Another wake up call. This is why I am here. I am excited to make the change, and a bit scared. With support and resources I know I will pull though. Thanks guys. See you around the forums.
