New here and want to abstain from PMO for several reasons. SORRY FOR LENGTH TRIGGER WARNINGS

Hello everyone, as the title states I’m new just stumbled across this site and after what I hope to be my final PMO for a while I’d like to make a post and see if some could identify with me here. So first of the reason I’m posting this and making such an effort , the main reason I would like to stop is I’m not sure if it’s boosting my anxiety. I’ve got a pretty nasty general anxiety issue ( I’ve never been diagnosed )but through a little self diagnosis I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening here. Haven’t had the easiest life as a kid, when through a lot of bs and started PMOing at around 12-13 years old. But I’m fearing that PMO is making my night time anxiety flare up. Does anyone have any connection between PMO and their anxiety? Another reason I’d like to quit is I’ve had the most amazing beautiful caring girlfriend for 2 years now. I can pleasure her from what I can tell but the thing is, while me and her are going at it I’m never as hard as I am while PMOing. I’d like for that to change as I think she deserves all the best, being that I took her virginity she’s never felt anything else but I’d just like to be better for her. Another reason I’d like to quit and re train my brain is because every time I see a beautiful woman in public I go into this fantasy about me and her spontaneously having sex wherever we are . ( I’ve got a thing for older women ) I know it’s weird but if anyone has any insite on why I’ve got such a thing for them that would be great too. I think that’s it for now but I’ll update if I can think of anything else, sorry this was so long just needed to get some things off my chest. THANKS