New here - Addicted to call girls

Hi @Jas-Singh685, first of all well done for one week of success. That's a good achievement. And surely you can reflect on what helped you in this last week to stay away. What were you thinking, doing? My question would be: Do you have an idea what you want? Where you want to go? Who you want to be? How you need to think, feel in order to build the new you? In short ... do you have a vision? I mean do you know WHAT YOU WANT? Or only what you Don't want?

PS: I can relate a lot to your situation. Escorts was a big issue for me too ...

 

Well, what helped is persistance, not giving up. Besides I started with meditation in 2017 went to a 10 day retreat and ever since I go every year besides regular practice at home. That helped me to be more aware of sensations craving or when aversion is around, focus helped, focus on sensations and not indulge in story, the content of the narrative. Then I worked the steps in CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) attended meeting for a few years. As well as in SLAA. That all helped. But recovery is daily work. And of course see the different approaches, one is avoiding, fighting the old the other is going for, building the new.

Being tired stressed and frustrated is a dangerous cocktail yes. Hope you do not trash yourself for giving in.

Why you say you are not ready for what you want? Or rather what makes you belief you need to be ready first?

 

Hi Jas, I was also addicted to call girls and once spent over $1000 on a day. I have since only struggled with occasional gambling addiction and PMO. For me, I also invested in retreats, spirituality (I came back to my church), and have sought therapy. Going on tech fasts and trying to use technology when you really need it helped this first hump for me.

It really took the hard stuff, like the awakening from God and discovering spirituality that I felt to stop seeing the call girls. There is a way and hope Jas! Don’t beat yourself up about PMO, getting off the call girls is the priority.

I know the feeling you have of not feeling ready yet for a relationship and I felt this too. I think prioritizing healing is absolutely the most important as you do not want to also get into a relationship where you don’t have control or understanding of your woundedness. I made this mistake and ended up in a crazy and manipulative relationship. So imo, I think you’re thinking prudently, but also when you feel even a little ready, don’t be afraid to take the plunge.

 

Of course!! Thank you for sharing too, the gym is great. It will help with physical discipline for sure.

I agree with you focusing on your career, that is something that is key because dating isn’t cheap either. Maybe you can try something like a social group (workout class/meditation class). You can make friends and ease your way into social situations that way! Baby steps

 

You must be spending a lot of money bro. How do you deal with feeling about the money spent?

 

What helped me is really acknowledging that you’re not getting genuine desire from these women. They just want your cash and want to send you on your way away from them as quick as they can.