Hello, Im Tony.I am 28 years old and i have a porn addiction.I have been watching porn and masturbating for about a decade. At first i did not know what the harm was in that.I had a healthy sex life with my girlfriend,no problems whatsoever.Then we began splitting up for months at a time.Because i did not want to cheat on her i relied heavily on pmo until we got back together.The first few times there was no difference,we had the sex life we used to.But later it started getting worse every time we separated.I would go back to pmo.Eventually i started losing my erection during sex but could hold it during oral and touching.I did not know what was wrong.We were fighting a lot about this and started breaking up more often.I saw a doctor and he said i had no physical problems.But it was getting worse.I would go soft a minute or two after penetration.That destroyed our relationship.We could not have sex anymore and i did not know why.Long after she broke up with me i started thinking if it was possible to have caused this condition by overmasturbating.Searching the web i found this site and ybop that stated what i was afraid of.I had an addiction for years.A disease of modern times killing our sex lives.To be honest i was glad i found people with similar problems that had found out the causes of our dysfunction.Until then i felt like a freak.Like i was the first to overdo it and cause damage.I decided i would do something about it.I stopped pmo and felt great.But after a few days i relapsed every time.The longest i reached was 25 days.Then i met a girl.I said to myself i would prove the damage was not extended yet.But when trying to have sex i had the same results.I was convinced i was a hard case.I started an other round of failing streaks.Until now.After nearly 5 years of trying to quit i think im ready to break this habit.Im ready to reboot,recover and rewire my brain to a real partner.Im ready to get my healthy sex life back and be the confident man i was.When the time comes i will give to my partner the pleasure she deserves. Im really sorry for the long post.I wanted to share my story with you guys for a long time and always postponed it. Thank you all for sharing your stories helping others realise the problem and giving them the information and the courage to fight back.
Dear fellow fapstronauts. After more than 5 years i found it fair to come back to my first post and pay a tribute to my younger self for not giving up all this time.After so many failed attempts to quit this disease this time i have done it.It was the hardest thing i ever had to do and it is far from over.I am prepared to not let my guard down for years to come.But for the time being it is the beggining of the end for this addiction.Putting the effort to make it for 6 months mostly clean gives me the foundation and hope i need to secure my future.I just wanted to remind everyone that there is light at the end of the tunnel for all of us.With time and patience everything will be getting to normal.Its a very gradual change so do not expect that on day x you will heal.This day will come slowly.This proccess is not about counting days,though i believe it is very motivating and everyone should try and raise their number.It is about understanding that our brain is malfunctioning with our behaviors.Its about understanding that porn and pmo and all other problems each of us have have to stop now.We have to let the brain heal and return to normal.We have to be normal to live life at its fullest.We should be able to have normal relationships and social life.We have to be able to maintaing healthy lives with our girlfriends or wives.The only way to do that is to let the brain heal itself.It has the ability to slowly come back to normal.It will be hard but it is worth it. My personal story is in the beginning.All this time i tried to fight this addiction.I had some streaks then relapsed then back here to reset counter etc.This forum was a huge help for me.The talks the information everything.So i read a lot on this forum.Experiences journals relapses reboot accounts success stories,references.I also read a lot about the human brain and mechanisms behind behavior,addictions and how a brain can recover itself to normal settings.All this effort armed me with the willpower to jumpstart a good reboot.A week into my reboot i met my curent gf.I did not know if i could make it but i had a good feeling.Day by day i watched my brain and body do what i knew it would be doing.I understood the mechanisms just enough to power through some hard times.I slipped a couple of times but did not reset the counter.I did not even record on what days and how many between i slipped.But i kept it at bare minimum.Only for some minutes a couple of times.I knew my brain played tricks so i gave it a false feed to keep it under control.The next couple of times it would try to trick me i just fed it a couple videos without doing any faping.And later even when i thought of porn i did not see any.I was so happy to find someone but the first time we tried to have sex i had ed.I was so terified that i wasnt ready yet.I knew some day i could have sex but i did not want to lose an other chance of having a gf.I made an excuse and tried to postpone sex so i could give my brain more time to start showing signs of recovery.I managed to postpone it for about 25 days.And it worked like a charm.I am not like i was pre addiction but i had an 80% erection that was very good for penetration.This was on late august 2022.Since then i come back to this forum almost everyday and fight this thing more ready than ever.We had sex many times since then and only two times i lost erection for penetration.And about 30 something times i succedeed with more or less erection but got the girl satisfied.So i am with her since august 3rd to this day.For my case i count this as a total victory.I will fight to kick this addiction for ever even if it is the last thing i will do.Being with someone and enjoying life,knowing you can now have a healthy life,a partner,kids.This is thousands of times better than pmoing alone and miserable.Sorry for the long post but if you read you should be certain by now that it is absolutely possible to get better and even 100% recover if you stick enough to it. Good luck and thank you all!
