What's up guys! New dude checking in. A little about me: I'm 19 years old, hailing from southwest Miami, graduated from high school in 2016 (go Cudas!) currently a community college student. Testimony: I first found pornography in 2007 at age 9 when my half-brother told me he found the password to my dad's Dish Network porn channels (It was my dad's birth year lmao) After watching it for the first time, I was enthralled. I was raised in the church and knew it was bad so I had stopped after a while. One day at age 12, I was bored and remembered how much I had liked porn so I looked it up on my mom's computer. I typed in "black girl porn" (lol) and was AMAZED at what I found. For about 6 months I would periodically watch it and my tool would get hard, but I didn't know how to masturbate so I would rub my hand on it through my pants lol. My cousin, who was visiting from the islands was joking with me about porn and girls and asked me if I jacked off before. I told him no because it was painful, he said "that's because you have to use lotion" So, the next day, I clandestinely crept in my bathroom, took my laptop and found a video I liked, then used the lotion. Boom. That was the greatest feeling I had ever felt in my life. I quickly developed a new habit. Sometime around 2013-2014 at age 15 I found an article about pornography and saw the symptoms of PMO (laziness, poor school/work performance, acne, binge eating, not finding real girls attractive, not wanting to talk to friends/family) and realized all these things were happening to me. So I tried doing NoFap. Didn't work. I would have little 4-5 day streaks and it would end in a big gooey mess. The longest I ever went was 19 days, but I got bored and a wave of horniness caught me and I acquiesced. I recently have tried to get back into my spirituality more and I know PMO is no good for me, spiritually, mentally physically and emotionally. I'll spend 30 minutes looking for videos and another 20 minutes beating myself up just for a low-quality orgasm. I'm ready to quit and joining an online community with like-minded people would be a great thing for me. Bless up to all of you and wish me luck!!!
