My girlfriend of 8 years just left me to go with a another guy. i am devastated. i have had a porn addiction and alcohol for more than 20 years. i have anger issues and generally a insecure man when its come to my performance in bed. i knew i had to quit porn for a long time but i just couldn't. it was the only thing that makes me feel good and i can escape from the worlds troubles for just that little bit of time, although i can fap for hours at a time. Anytime i find myself alone, thats all i do. I need some serious help.
Hey Brother, I'm sorry to hear about what's been going on in your life. I'm new here too, and your story almost mirrors my own. My GF of 6 years left me for another guy last year and I was struggling with many of the issues you talk about. I never thought I'd be in a good place again, but I'm here to tell you things WILL get better for you. You can, and will, beat this addiction. I've only been clean for 17 days and already the world seems a much brighter place. Everybody has to start somewhere on the road to self-improvement and this is as good a place as any. With your mind free of the PMO brain fog, everything else will begin to fall into place. It won't be easy, but you are in the right place here. Keep us updated on your progress, and remember you are not alone.
Thank you, Man. I already feel better, did not know that so many share the same issues. Did not know there is a forum like this. My situation is live right now, and going thru a lot of stuff. Have taken myself off facebook and social media, am now in a private thai beach. i don't speak to anyone, i am completely alone and somehow i feel this is good for me. at least for right now. a bit boring but i don't want to live my life in a bullshit illusion, by distracting myself from real issues by keeping myself busy or alcohol and drugs and porn. Doesn't life have to be lived authentic and real?
NoFap is so difficult for me and its only day 3. my girlfriend left me a week ago to "explore" in the name of individual freedom her feeling for another man, who happens to be my business partner and one of my best friends. she didn't break up with me, tells me she still loves me and she just wants 3 weeks to explore her freedom. i know she went to see him and its so weird to have her finally call me and its about an issue with my business and its her thats calling me, not him. so this is the way it is from now on, he doesn't speak to me directly, perhaps because he is ashamed, but goes thru her to call me. so fucking weird. I was guarded on the call and she sent me some text messages afterward to send me "positive vibes' but she uses words like, "i want to do my best to do this thing in a good way" also, "whats good for you and us and everyone" everyone?! and finally she finishes with " i wish for love friendship". Love friendship?! I am getting friend zoned already? Am I reading between the lines too much and getting paranoid or is she hinting subtly that she will break up with me and preparing me for the worst. I don't know really what to make of it. She told me before she left, she promised actually that she will not sleep with him, she just wants to explore and you feels that there will be all flowers and goods for us. but after meeting with him, i am suspecting that she is headed another direction. I just don't know what to do with this. I want to believe that she will come back to me. I am pipe dreaming?!
Hey Man, Sorry for the delayed reply. I really sympathise with you on this one. All I can do is speak from my own experience of this situation - which of course could be completely different in your case. My ex behaved in a very similar way in the immediate aftermath of our breakup, after telling me she 'wasn't happy anymore'. I asked her if there was anyone else - she simply answered 'No', and I believed her. For the first couple of weeks she was civil to me, spoke to me on the phone, said she wanted to be friends and even stopped by for a coffee. Then, bang, she cut me out of her life completely - after 6 years. She blocked me on everything, sent her Dad to collect her things etc. I think she was just trying to soften the blow at first as she knew I was absolutely heartbroken - I also think she cut me out due to the guilt she felt. So, a couple of weeks later I see a mutual friend, who tells me that she is in Paris with her new partner celebrating her birthday. I've never felt such pain, but I came through it to tell the story. I know it's not what you want to hear but I think for your sake you need to try to move on with your life. If it's meant to be it'll be, but the one thing that won't get her back is chasing her. People generally want what they can't have, that's human nature. If she knows she can snap her fingers and have you back just like that, it'll just push her further away. You now need to focus on you. Focus on being the best man you can be in every sense. I figured in the end that if my ex of 6 years can drop me like its nothing and move on just like that, then quite frankly she wasn't the person I thought she was and she's done me a favour. You are doing the right thing with Nofap though - believe me. Keep going and you will see things so much clearer (plus the added female attention will help you through....!) Stay safe bro!
Also, your 'friend' sounds like a d**k. No REAL friend messes around with a friends girl. Leave them both in the dust - Karma will show up for them one day.
