Never felt this amount of urges ever......

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by u376, Jan 13, 2019 at 12:07 PM.

  1. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    I am on 15th day of monk mode
    And I have completed 400 days without masturbation.....(I watched porn a number of times in that streak)
    Today afternoon.....I was getting attacks of urges......I mean urges to watch porn were so intense......that I focused to think about god......
    I started to remember all the appreciation which I have received from here
    Also I will like to set a good example of myself.....
    Root cause according to me was.....my anger issues....
    I have noticed my anger is increasing in this monk mode.....
    Earlier I used to numb myself by watching porn or psubs.....
    I am realizing that why everyone used to tell me that real reboot is the one which involves abstaining from porn.......
    I even lay my head down for few minutes......my head got heavy.....and I was feeling that anytime I can slip in watching porn.....
    But I am happy that somehow I managed myself......
    Its only 15 days in monk mode ....and I was today this close to relapse (watching porn)......
    I will be honest......I am quite scared for the journey onwards......
    Here is the link of my current journal
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/monk-mode-of-90-days.208113/
     
  2. Salute77

    Salute77 Fapstronaut

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    So you look at porn but you dont masturbate? Bro you deserve a medal of some kind. Going that long without masturbating, nice. You should actually get rid of the pornography. God hates the pornography. He told me that He would throw me into the lake of fire if I did not stop watching it. He's totally going to do the same thing to you. Get rid of the porn. I'm a Christian and God still said He would destroy me.

    Jesus actually took away my porn addiction. in the midst of my addiction he just got rid of it. Poof gone. Now i have no urges.

    Follow Jesus.
     
  3. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah.....it was difficult to not masturbate while watching porn
    But slowly I got addicted to the dopamine rush which I got from only watching porn
    ..... masturbation is completely cured for me ......I have highly trained my brain for that....
    Yeah it's been a while since I watched porn
    ..... that's why the urges are quite strong......but all my strategies are somehow helping me......
    Today I have better control
    But yesterday.....the flashbacks of porn was quite consistent and strong......I was almost sick......
    Now I will be more focused.....
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  4. I have a useful tip for urges, it works wonders for me. Male addicts view women as 'meat', especially the chest. Sure, it's normal to be attracted to them, but dehumanising them is not. Here's what you should do: Imagine a row of buckets in front of you and the girl you are thinking of sexually. Imagine taking her outerwear, and putting it into a bucket, then her innerwear, then rip off her skin, then her muscles, tendons, ligaments, bones, each one getting a bucket. Slowly you deconstruct her body. Do it to her fat, her organs; those round, juicy eyeballs, imagine all the blood, sweat, tears, urine and feces and put them into a bucket. You don't have to literally count the buckets, but try visualing the different parts. Focus on the buckets that disgust you more intently. Try looking at the breast fat now, with that red blood sureounding it, squishy, unfirm, or whatever else that's repulsive. I got this tip from a succesful fapstronaut. It rewires an over sexually-conditioned porn addict to respect women, as you visualise the horrific 'meat' girl. I'm not married, but according to that guy, he tried it on many women, till he did it on his wife. Since then, he's never wanted to see her wife as other than her ownself. Do this when you have bad thoughts, and on porn videos.
     
  5. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Oh ....damn
    I was visualizing..and this made me weak in knees
    And strangely this worked
    Must say this is the creepiest way to calm our urges.....
    But thankfully today was easier than yesterday....... urges were not so intense
     
  6. Nice to know it works for others at least.
     
    u376 likes this.
  7. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Again feeling urges
    Was having thought of watching porn
    Then I thought to write down this feeling here
     
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  8. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    I have ate something right now
    Doing yoga with stomach full is not good
     
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  9. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    I am on day 19th
    And I have already replaced net with other productive things
    But sometimes urges rise like a fire
     
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  10. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    That anger can either be a positive aggression or a repressed anger which is now coming to surface. Whatever the case is, please be patient and don't try to get rid of it. Just see it, observe it as it is without trying to change it. You can meditate with it. Just sit with your anger for like 20 minutes or so... Everything starts to dissolve if you're patient enough to accept it. The truth is that this journey neither changes nor gets any easier over time. If you relapse now, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or next week you have to start all over again. Because you have realized that PMO is harmful. You can't lose that realization so don't let your mind fool you into going through another relapse. I hope this helps. good luck mate.
     
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  11. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man
    But right now the urges were without any anger
    Luckily I again handled it
     
    5adn8m8 likes this.
  12. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    No mate. I didn't say it only about withdrawals. Everyday it's a new challenge and you can't be safe from urges no matter how long it is that you are rebooting. It's better to brace yourself than thinking it's easy and continue rebooting carelessly. At least this is my opinion. Yours can be different and we are both entitled to that.
     
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  13. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    You can definitely succeed. The path to victory is not linear. Failures are natural parts of victory.
     
    u376 likes this.
  14. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    No withdrawal symptoms resurfaces after a period of time......but after a long long time......they subside
     
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  15. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Haan Bhai.....koi baat nahi
     
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  16. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    Well the writer of this post is still struggling with PMO just like I am. If you have managed to leave PMO completely then the challenge is over. If that is the case, congratulations mate. and by the way I can't speak Hindi. Sorry!
     
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  17. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Koi nahi yaar
    Dheere dheere improve hoti hai
    Meri bhi English movies dekh ke improve Hui hai
     
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  18. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Haan .....main Tuesday ke fast rakhne ki soch ra hu
     
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