I joined this forum in 2018 and have tried quitting many times since then, but since I joined my porn addiction has just gotten worse. My main addiction has been femdom content with some girl/girl and also intense humiliation/cuck/and findom. I've spent thousands to women who in turn insult me and treat me like crap or just ignore me. Since 2021 I started sending money to femdommes on webcam as well. I sometimes cycle..I'll browse findom for a while then spend money on those..then I try to quit, fail, and end up going back to humiliation clips..try to quit, fail, then femdom "action" clips...then try to quit then even just instagram and celebrities and then back to findom and on and on in a cycle. It's been a month since I've spent money so that's a good thing..although in the past I've been able to regulate it by spending 100-200 per month or so..and when I try to quit and go back to it the relapse ends up being more intense and I spend more so I'm always worried about that. I try to justify the expense when I look up the costs of sex therapists in the area and it would be 150 or more per week..or try to justify it by telling myself I'm not spending on other things but I know this is wrong. Unfortunately, even though I haven't spent money in a few weeks PMO has been pretty much a near daily thing for years - whether it's femdom clips or findom twitter feeds or anything in between. I have truly felt and feel powerless over this addiction that has taken over my life. I am, once again on here because I truly want to quit but I feel like I can't do it alone. I feel like I need support/accountability partners/someone I can talk to/reach out to when I'm depressed or feel like relapsing. In the past I've tried therapy, meditation, exercise, healthy eating, watching tv/listening to music instead, getting out of the house when I'm having urges..but in the end I have eventually relapsed. I'm a little over 24 hours since PMO. i want this time to be different. I dont want to relapse anymore.
Do you want to talk? I feel that I have similar struggles to you and I have been feeling sort of down lately.
Check out my last posts Too long, don't read: You eventually relapse because you believe the lie that orgasms are the most important things in life, and without it, life is just half full and you're missing out on something. That's bullshit of course, but believing this makes you think that you make a genuine sacrifice when you quit PMO. You escalate to femdom because it's a taboo, and the bigger the taboo the bigger the orgasm. It's no rocket science If you really want to be free, you need to realize that it's just brainwashing and a bullshit belief. Orgasms and PMO do not contribute to your life in any kind of way, your life will still be the same as usual.
Hi, thanks for your thoughts. Yes, I think there are times when I am deep in the addiction that I feel the feeling I get is the best or most important thing in my life. There have been times where I never wanted to quit because of this. I agree with you that they are not important and do not contribute to my life. As of this morning, which is only day 2 - I admit I am having urges to start browsing twitter and clip sites. It is the good feeling, the "high" that I am seeking I suppose. Trying to shake the feeling that I need to have it. Feeling tired and restless without it - probably because I'm so used to spending hours at it.
I've been struggling with femdom, findom, twitter "goddesses" and hypno clips for years. Heck over decade. I'm on a good streak and happy for it. Feel free to DM me as well if you want. Would love to have someone to fall to each other when needed.
It's so important to quit twitter and Instagram for Nofap users. And if you have femdom fetish then I can't imagine how you will stop fapping while having such account. The first step to control your fetish is to put a barrier that keeps you away from it. Then work on the rest of methods.
Oh absolutely. Especially after being on findom twitter for a long time lots of other things on instagram could be "reminders" of what we've seen in the femdom/findom world and lead us back to it.
I’ve gone pretty far down the P addiction brainwashing/Gooner hypno/femdom rabbit hole as well. I downloaded Grindr but never met anyone. I’ve spent a lot of money on humiliation clips. What resonates with me about what was said above is the feeling that you are losing something by walking away from P. I had to convince myself that I am just “trying” NoFap to test it out, see how I feel and then re-evaluate (i.e., potentially go back to P). It was only by taking the stakes down like this, that I was able to muster the will to sign up here. I’ll be the first to admit that’s sad, but that’s where I’m at. I am hoping that the benefits ppl have shared of being PMO free are strong enough to keep me from saying, “F-it, I’m going back to P.”
What would happen if you got rid of your smartphone and or computer? Or your home internet service? It’s basically the equivalent of placing yourself on a desert island. It’s extreme, but it works. I went without wifi in my home for a year and haven’t looked at P since. That was back in 2009.
