Need Serious Help

Be open. When you're intimate with someone, especially at the marriage level you're at, you both need to be vulnerable and open to each other. Problems in the bedroom are usually more "uncomfortable" because it's never talked about and often kept in complete blackness like nothing ever happened. Most people don't even talk about sex, let alone something more deep, unsettling and possibly embarrassing regarding the whole topic. You don't have to spill all your guts out but get to a state of comfortable openness where you don't feel ashamed or like you are hiding something.

The easiest thing you can do is stop PMO right now. Right now. Maybe just take a tiny pause on the whole contraception thing and focus on yourself, rebooting and healthy intimacy? And yes, edging does make it worse

 

Ed-cure-pills affect the physical roots of ED. Yours isn't physical, it's mental. There's no mental ED-cure-pill. The only thing you can do is stop looking at porn. Clear your mind, clear your conscience, clear your guilt. You have a beautiful wife who wants you and desperately needs you. Snap out of it, dude. Porn is fake, it's a wall, it's a barrier. Don't erect that barrier between you and someone you care about. I've put one up for a decade, and I'm fucking miserable.

 

Do you see how you are trapping yourself? You feel depressed, because you cannot get an erection. As a result you edge even more, which worsens your erection in the long run. Then you feel even more depressed and so on. You need to get out of this, and I reckon the only way to do this is by telling your wife about your fears.

Why do you think that you cannot share this with her? Is it maybe because you feel ashamed? We often punish ourselves harder than others. I see men describing themselves as failures, because they lose their jobs and cannot provide for their families. Or because they never had sex, because they are addicted to gambling, or whatever. Everyone thinks that his shortcomings are the worst and nobody could accept them precisely because of these flaws, but in my experience people are very welcoming if we make ourselves vulnerable by opening up. Maybe your wife can support you through this difficult phase of yours, who knows? She would not be the first SO