need help!

PMO has warped your brain to need more and more previously horrifying, revolting, and shocking content to turn you on. The best solution is to just go 90 days no PMO and no P after that ever, and you can find more reasons on this forum and your brain on porn. Stay strong!

 

Edging is a relapse, and if you did that during your reboot, you didn't have a full 110 days no PMO. Edging still activated and gave in to the cravings from PMO infected circuits in the brain.

 

Remember, dude, this is something called HOCD. You're not bisexual. If you were, these sorts of thoughts wouldn't feel invasive and unwelcome in your mind. It's only going to get better if you stop compulsively engaging your invasive thoughts about your sexuality (the invasive thoughts being things like "am I bisexual?" or "I must be bisexual"). Here are some behaviors that count as compulsive engagement with those thoughts:

• "Checking out" men in public (especially looking at their private regions) to verify whether or not you find them attractive.
• "Checking out" women in public to verify that you are straight. Checking out women in public because you find them attractive is normal and healthy, but doing so to confirm your sexuality is compulsive and unhealthy.
• Thinking about heterosexual hookups you've had in the past and trying to remember whether or not you found them enjoyable.
• Hooking up with someone outside your sexual orientation to see if you're able to get hard.
  
• Watching gay porn (or looking at sexualized imagery of men, such as men twerking, as you said in your OP) to see if you become erect. I put that one in bold because it's a really strong one. If you're looking at images of men to check whether your dick gets hard or not, I would highly recommend stopping that. Every time you do that, you reinforce those invasive thoughts in your mind.
• Watching heterosexual porn (or looking at sexualized imagery of women) to see if you can still get hard when looking at women. Obviously, I can't recommend looking at any sort of porn on a forum about recovering from porn addiction. However, if you're looking at porn with the intention of verifying your own sexuality, I think that can be even more damaging to you psychologically than typical PMO.
• Obsessively posting on this forum asking whether or not you are bisexual. I put that one in bold because it's difficult to wrap your head around. This is the second thread (that I know of) that you've started surrounding your sexuality within the last week. In addition to that, you've posted on my profile page about it and you've also sent me a private message asking me about your sexuality. This sort of behavior isn't helping you. If you continue to obsessively ask other people about your sexuality, you're only reinforcing the intrusive thoughts about your sexuality.
• Excessively researching human sexuality and researching the ways that porn can affect your sexuality. Research is normally a good thing. It will help you learn about reality. However, if you are hoping that there's some article or some other source of information that will reveal your true sexuality to you, then you're only making things more difficult for yourself. You know who you are, and you know what your sexuality is. I've told you this before, but you're 19 years old. You're already done with puberty. If you remember being heterosexual when you were in your pubescent years, that probably isn't going to change.

Those are just a few obsessive behaviors I can think of that you might already be doing. You know you're straight, dude. You've been straight since your early teenage years when you first started developing sexually. If you were bisexual, you would have felt it at that time, but you didn't. All of the behaviors I've listed above are making things more complicated for you, and they're making it difficult for you to move on from these intrusive thoughts.

Look, man... Everyone has confusing thoughts about their sexuality from time to time (especially porn users). That's normal. However, a healthy person will just let those thoughts pass through them like water passing through a screen. An unhealthy person will engage with those thoughts, wrestle with them, and try to prove them true or false. This engagement only serves to make those thoughts stronger, and eventually they will start to take control over you.

Hope that helps! You can get through this!

 

That's hard to say. How long do you think you've been having all these intrusive thoughts about your sexuality?

 

Knowing that you've been having these sorts of thoughts for about half a year (and watching gay porn for even longer), I would expect it to take a while before you really start to heal. Obviously, I can't tell you an exact time limit, but I would expect the time needed for recovery to scale proportionately to the amount of time you've spent engaging with these intrusive thoughts. Don't think too much about how long it's going to take. Just focus on one day at a time. The journey of a million miles begins with a single step and happens just one step at a time. Yes, that's cheesy, but it's also true.

 

personal suggestion if you feel your about to relapse take a cold shower or stand in front of an a/c for a bit. works for me obviously i didn't do that recently but i just got of a binge and i'm trying to start the noFap again. but when i was relapsing being cold made M the last thing i wanted to do. just don't get yourself sick obviously lol.

as far as being confused or bi goes i was the same way too watching she males and a little bit of gay P its just you getting desensitized to the normal stuff and craving things more outlandish which isn't necessarily a good thing if you start getting into weirder stuff. just keep your hands of yourself and don't think of P for a few months the normal stuff will be more then enough to get you going if you were to relapse which happens to us all just try not to turn it into a binge.

 

I would consider that a porn substitute. It serves exactly the same purpose as watching gay porn would.

 

I'm not sure what you mean.

 

There's nothing wrong with loving feminine women. I think porn (and, apparently, porn substitutes) is a problem for you, though.

 

I don't think so. I think everyone has weird thoughts about their sexuality sometimes. Like I said in my earlier comment, it's completely healthy to sometimes have thoughts and questions about your sexuality, but it's not healthy to compulsively verify what your sexuality is by watching gay porn (or porn-substitutes) and testing whether or not you get hard from watching it.

In short, I don't believe porn can change your sexuality, but it can make things more complicated and it can make your (healthy and perfectly normal) thoughts about your sexuality become heavy and weighty in your mind.