need help

Jacob William Jr · Jan 31, 2018

The fact that you acknowledge that sex with your wife is still a turn on, is a great thing. That means you don't NEED further means of getting off, as much as you may enjoy masturbating, it's not worth losing actual sex from the woman you say means the world to you.

You won't have to imagine sex with anyone else, or even worse imagining some other man making love to your wife, if you do this right. I am being serious, mine has contacted me since she walked out and I don't know if she is out looking for someone new, it's killing me. Don't play anymore games with her buddy, judging by a lot of the stories you'll see on here, you'll only end up losing if you do. Don't hide anything about M, P, PM from her anymore, even if you relapse. I would just find time to sit down and explain to her (so she understands) that this isn't something for fun, you'll be trying your best to stay on track but it's a disease and you appreciate her being there for you, but she should be aware that a relapse is possible, but no matter what you'll tell her immediately because you'll need her to help re-start the reboot.

She isn't cutting you off, that means it will make this process so much better/easier, you won't have to completely hold everything 'in' like I did, you'll still get to release, just maybe not everyday. If only my wife choose to help me, and try to be intimate, perhaps I wouldn't have had to go back to PM.

I think I can speak for most of us when I say, if there's one thing we can do here, is help others with our stories.

We're rooting for you to succeed.

Lukas99 · Jan 31, 2018

Jacob William Jr said: ↑

The fact that you acknowledge that sex with your wife is still a turn on, is a great thing. That means you don't NEED further means of getting off, as much as you may enjoy masturbating, it's not worth losing actual sex from the woman you say means the world to you.

You won't have to imagine sex with anyone else, or even worse imagining some other man making love to your wife, if you do this right. I am being serious, mine has contacted me since she walked out and I don't know if she is out looking for someone new, it's killing me. Don't play anymore games with her buddy, judging by a lot of the stories you'll see on here, you'll only end up losing if you do. Don't hide anything about M, P, PM from her anymore, even if you relapse. I would just find time to sit down and explain to her (so she understands) that this isn't something for fun, you'll be trying your best to stay on track but it's a disease and you appreciate her being there for you, but she should be aware that a relapse is possible, but no matter what you'll tell her immediately because you'll need her to help re-start the reboot.

She isn't cutting you off, that means it will make this process so much better/easier, you won't have to completely hold everything 'in' like I did, you'll still get to release, just maybe not everyday. If only my wife choose to help me, and try to be intimate, perhaps I wouldn't have had to go back to PM.

I think I can speak for most of us when I say, if there's one thing we can do here, is help others with our stories.

We're rooting for you to succeed.
Click to expand...

It's about accepting your addiction, and aiming for change.
And sucks to hear man, hope everything goes well for you!

Wade W. Wilson · Jan 31, 2018

TryingHard2Change said: ↑

@Wade W. Wilson: what are you actively doing to help stop PM'ing?

Just stopping isn't possible / it doesn't work. You have to replace it with other things, good things.

I recomment starting a journal here on NoFap and write in it daily.
Read and stay connected to all the threads and comments in the Rebooting in a Relationship forum.

What porn blocking tools have you installed on your laptop/computer and/or home WiFi router?
Click to expand...

Well this is the first step i'm doing, haven't done anything else yet. Well besides of installing all sources I've been using for P. Also I know just stopping isn't enough, that's why I join this program. I am planning on replacing it with something else. I'm lucky my wife is willing to help and be by my side through this, I wanna talk to her what i can replace it with. I don't have any hobbies, so i gotta find something. As for blocking tools for my computer dont need it, never used it on computer.

I am definitely planning on reading and staying connected. I've been here only couple days and I've learned that there is a lot of people with that problem and just reading and tell my story is very helpful.

Wade W. Wilson · Jan 31, 2018

Jacob William Jr said: ↑

The fact that you acknowledge that sex with your wife is still a turn on, is a great thing. That means you don't NEED further means of getting off, as much as you may enjoy masturbating, it's not worth losing actual sex from the woman you say means the world to you.

You won't have to imagine sex with anyone else, or even worse imagining some other man making love to your wife, if you do this right. I am being serious, mine has contacted me since she walked out and I don't know if she is out looking for someone new, it's killing me. Don't play anymore games with her buddy, judging by a lot of the stories you'll see on here, you'll only end up losing if you do. Don't hide anything about M, P, PM from her anymore, even if you relapse. I would just find time to sit down and explain to her (so she understands) that this isn't something for fun, you'll be trying your best to stay on track but it's a disease and you appreciate her being there for you, but she should be aware that a relapse is possible, but no matter what you'll tell her immediately because you'll need her to help re-start the reboot.

She isn't cutting you off, that means it will make this process so much better/easier, you won't have to completely hold everything 'in' like I did, you'll still get to release, just maybe not everyday. If only my wife choose to help me, and try to be intimate, perhaps I wouldn't have had to go back to PM.

I think I can speak for most of us when I say, if there's one thing we can do here, is help others with our stories.

We're rooting for you to succeed.
Click to expand...

I really appreciate your support and you sharing your story, and I definitely don't want to mess this, what I think is the last chance I have to save my marriage. I did talked to her about it and she does understand, she just need me to be honest and for some reason I keep lying. I know that's the biggest thing is TRUST. She told me that at this point she doesn't know if she can trust me, that she doesn't know if I relapse if I can be honest. Talking to everyone and read other stories does help, and I hope it will help me to be honest with her. However, I understand it is up to me, I need to grow some courage and be honest. She knows that I do it I know she knows that I do it, but still I don't know why it's so hard for me to be honest.

Jacob William Jr · Jan 31, 2018

Wade W. Wilson said: ↑

I really appreciate your support and you sharing your story, and I definitely don't want to mess this, what I think is the last chance I have to save my marriage. I did talked to her about it and she does understand, she just need me to be honest and for some reason I keep lying. I know that's the biggest thing is TRUST. She told me that at this point she doesn't know if she can trust me, that she doesn't know if I relapse if I can be honest. Talking to everyone and read other stories does help, and I hope it will help me to be honest with her. However, I understand it is up to me, I need to grow some courage and be honest. She knows that I do it I know she knows that I do it, but still I don't know why it's so hard for me to be honest.
Click to expand...

Try to make it a habit.. What if you not only keep a journal of your progress on here but consider her your journal 2.0. Every day take a moment, in a quiet place to sit with her, with no other distractions (tv, phones, kids) and tell her how today went for you (felt fine, started getting thoughts/urge) etc.. It will hopefully make it easier to tell her everything as it occurs, because you'll get use to doing it.

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need help

Jacob William Jr Fapstronaut

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Wade W. Wilson Fapstronaut

Wade W. Wilson Fapstronaut

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