Need help to getting back on the right track

Hey community. I’m very happy to be here. It was an accident that I came here and after read through some posts and comments, I realised this is the place I should be.
I am 36 years old man, married and have kids. I have similar problems like most of the posts mention here. My porn addiction seems to be out of the roof right now and I watch at least few times a day. While working from home, I get lot of free time where my next move was to spin up an anonymous window and just search for porn.Then the next step obviously M and then finally O. It’s like I may reach O couple of times or more each day. I don’t understand where my problem is, because I do have S with my wife, probably everyday or few times a week. Although I’m married, my P search are mainly M2M.
In my early twenties, I used to have a M2M relationship with a much older man than me for a couple of years. Since the time I got to know my wife and married, I have completely stopped the M2M relationship physically. But it remained in my mind forever and the only way I could relieve the pressure or have the feeling of being with that person is from the G Porn.
I realised several times, I should stop this and maybe stay away from the P few days and no M also, but then combing right back at it after a 4-5 days. This time I really want to make it work. Last couple of days, No P and no M. But sometimes I do just play (not sure that’s a right word here) with myself without O. Maybe edging.
I want to stop P addiction, also M and then I’m looking forward a way how can I stop having the M2M feelings. Since couple of years before my marriage up until now, I have never been with another M. But the feeling never goes away.
My wife or anyone I know have no idea about what going through and she’s not the right person to talk about what time going through. I really need help.