Heya guys, I need and advice with the situation I am currently in. I don't know why, but somewhat I feel like I trust people on this forum more and feel more comfortable asking about that than my actual friends. I know it's weird, but I hope I can get some feedback from somebody standing on the side. I'm currently a 24 years old student, if that changes anything. I need to mention first that I have already been struggling with problem I mentioned here a couple months ago - I have moved for a girl to another country, she dumped me and basically treated like dirt. Ever since my life has become so much better and I've became in better person in many ways, sadly dating was something that went completely downfall. My actual problem is that I have been meeting quite a few nice girls who were really nice and sweet and definitely wanted something more, but I wasn't interested in them or making a romantic relationship at all. I just couldn't feel the chemistry. Now on the other hand I have met a girl who I genuinely like and admire, I love her company, talking with her, we have many things in common and we share sense of humor, we are getting along amazingly well. Sadly at the same time out of the sudden, the moment we started getting closer with each other, I am suddenly feeling completely down thinking about it and about commitment. About forming a relationship and dealing with whatever it brings further on and I am insanely scared that I'll invest time and feelings into something that will ruin me like last time. I have no reason to distrust her and I would like to approach it with a more relaxed attitude that it's just fun and if it doesn't work I just move on, but it is hard for me to like people the way I liked her out of the sudden and breakups are pretty hard for me to get through. I have mentioned her already about how I feel and she understands it and assures me that I have nothing to worry about. Unfortunately this is what every girl I have met in my life believed in. I don't know what to do right now. I've became awkward and I feel like avoiding conversations and going out with her so I won't let my feelings for her grow, and at the same time I am trying to look at it objectively and feeling like a complete idiot. Not sure what's wrong, I was really hoping that once I meet somebody I like again it will be just as it always used to be, but this just sucks. Maybe relationships just aren't for me and that is the way how I am supposed to know that? Or am I just messed up in the head? I really don't want to hurt her and I can't decide whether I should end it here and save her from my bullshit or ignore the way it makes me feel, give it time and hope for the best. Or maybe there are some articles / books I could read that would help me with putting my mind together? I will be thankful for any advice and really appreciate if anybody decides to go through this wall of miserable text. Kind regards
Better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.. Old saying but it's true. Go out with her and have fun. Most people show their true colors from 6 months to a year into a relationship. There's always a risk. Sometimes when a relationship ends you think it's the end of the world. I tend to think well, that person was not right for me or obviously we would still be together. I've kissed many frogs to find my love I'm with today. Each doomed relationship made me stronger and more prepared to be the best partner I can be. Life is full of heartache but it's full of beauty too. Don't be afraid to live.
I agree. Being afraid it will fail will make it so you never take the plunge. All relationships are a risk. You have to jump in with an open mind and if it ends up not working out then so be it.
Completely agree with what @Rav70 and @DireMerl are saying, you have to take the risk. Especially, you have to take the risk because you are trying to sort things out with her. There are way too many people in the world who doesn't commit to anything because they don't want to get hurt (myself included ), so they end up jumping from shallow relationships over and over again. At the end, all of us want a person who sincerely cares.
