Need advice!

Hi!

Me and my girlfriend recently had a talk about us and my addiction and us beeing together. She had been to see her parents in another city for the week and i had done some porn things while she were away. These things were: Searching for pornstars on IMDB. Looking up a pornstar on facebook ( i only got to her frontpage when i saw there was actual porn pictures on FB (wtf?!)). I also searched for "feet" on instagram since i've been in to foot fetish. And i read some threads on flashback about porn. I only told her about the IMDB and facebook things. I felt that the foot fetish thing needed more explanation and i was so afraid to bring it up in the heat of the moment. But the flashback thing, i just forgot about it. And now i dont know if i should tell her. I keep thinking that it might be very selfish to tell her because maybe it's just to get rid of my guilt. Or do you think she would benefit from knowing i want to be honest? I really don't think she would believe me when i tell her that i forgot. What should i do?

Btw, i see these things i did as relapses and as a step forward in realizing what "watching" porn is for me. What gets me going. So for me it's good that i now really know that even in text form, reading a movie title, looking at non pornographic pictures of porn actresses is activating the old dopamine paths. It's messed up and i feel so much guilt for not telling her everything.

Should i?

 

Thanks for the answer

I thought about what you wrote about betraying her trust. I know she wants me to tell her about my relapses, even if it's really hard for both of us. So i told her two days ago. It was hard but we're fine now. So thanks again. And good luck to you to!