Need advice for my soon to be very first sexual encounter.

My personal opinion is that you never want to pay for sex. I can understand the rationale, you want to be better in bed so you need the practice. But for me the risks of seeing a prostitute (yes you can be fancy and call them an escort but they are just prostitutes) is too high for me. STDs, possible sting by the police, possibly getting robbed by prostitute, are all risks that are not worth taking.

What makes you think you will have your first experience in the next few months? Are you dating someone and it's going well? If that is the case, explain to her it is your first time and if she cares about you she'll understand. One thing I did with my first girlfriend who I had sex with, was we talked about it. It was her first time too, so neither of us knew what we were doing. So it was exciting to explore and figure out what she liked and what I liked.

 

I wouldn't suggest paying for sex. Associating yourself with paying for physical intimacy will lead you down a very bad path.

If you and the other person both decided that you would like a 1 time encounter than that is okay. If you both want to make it occasional that is also okay.

Just be sure to discuss your intentions with one another.

This is all about communication. Let them know that you aren't experienced and be honest. Take things slow and don't be afraid to ask questions in regards to how they like to be pleased.

Use protection. Condoms, spermicides, whatever you have available.

I hope you have a very good experience and just remember that it's okay to ask questions. It's okay to not have experience. As a woman myself I would prefer honesty.

 

Yes agree, do not pay for sex. It will sting in your brain forever and might become a habit which is gonna drain you financially if you're not careful.

My first time sexual encounter was okay, just let it happen and did not think too much about it. I never told the girl I was a virgin and I got away with it. Just acted like I had done it before a few times, even though it was pretty noticeable I was a noob However, it is totally fine to be honest.

Just go for casual sex, but take it slow. Slow is key. So start with a bit of foreplay, do not go straight to licking her pussy, but just go by gentle touches of her neck and kiss her in her neck, kiss her ears gently, and just progress slowly to more intimate parts. I usually take 30 minutes of foreplay (which is actually pretty basic on duration, but my girlfriend doesn't like my 1,5-2 hour foreplay sessions I did before not all girls are the same). The slow approach will also work benefits on yourself, as it will calm you down as well if you are slightly anxious.

Hygiene is extremely important. Make sure you are clean! Your teeth should be clean, take a shower beforehand, wash your balls and dick, wash your ass properly (yes, also as a guy) etc.

Furthermore, if the girl doesn't like something you do, then do not feel rejected. Just take a step back and communicate about her desires. Communication is important.

Besides that just enjoy it and be safe (buy condoms in your size from a good brand). I

PS: Not being able to find the hole from the first feel is something all guys still experience so no need to worry.

 

Just out of curiosity, what makes you think your first sexual experience will be happening in the next few months?

Are you currently dating a girl or something?

 

A good question to ask yourself is how you would feel after having casual sex. If the answer is that you'd feel awful then it would be best if you avoid having it. If you want to explore the morality of casual sex further you might want to read the book The Case Against the Sexual Revolution by Louise Perry. I haven't read it myself but I've heard her suggestion is: 1) date within social circles rather than people they’ve met online 2) wait months rather than hours before having sex 3) only have sex with someone you would want to have a child with. This advice is mainly aimed at women than men but I think there's nothing wrong with men applying it to their own life. One thing she says to men must do is to practise self-control, be courteous to women and stay away from porn.

Personally, I don't have casual sex. I can understand the appeal but I know I would feel awful after having it. I also don't like the idea of having sex with someone I barely know. What if they're a psycho who tries to destroy your life after having sex? You might say you would I would never have sex with someone like that but how can you know for sure? I say if you're going to have casual sex you have to be really good at reading people as soon as you meet them.

As for paid sex, at times I've been tempted but I'm glad I've never gone through with it. I listened to an interview with Rachel Moran who is a former prostitute and it was eye-opening to hear about her experiences. She said she wouldn't want her clients to know anything about her. They would ask her questions about her life and she would make stuff up. As a prostitute, she wanted to separate her work and her personal life. The question to ask is do you really want to have sex with someone who doesn't want you to know anything about them?

 

For a first timer there is definitely nothing wrong with casual sex and there shouldn't be any ''bad feelings'' involved after your first time having sex anyway. It's a beautiful experience and shouldn't need too many thoughts. Just common sense of hygiene, safety and communication and all will be fine.

Right now with my girlfriend I do not have ''casual'' sex. I only have sex when she is burning of desire of having sex with me, otherwise I will feel bad if I initiate having sex and she will only have sex because she feels obligated to do so.. so I understand why you would feel that way, but that's not the advice I would give to someone who goes for the first time. And as you said, those things apply more for women. Paying for sex or having sex just for the sake of busting a nut is different ofcourse and then I really feel like your points are more valid.
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Sex is a fun and amazing experience and it is our biology and nature to do it.

 

You can message me if you have anymore questions. I definitely understand being nervous for your first time. It was like that for me as well.

 

FHRITP