Narcissist personality disorder vs Porn Addiction vs Intimacy Anorexia

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Vixen, Oct 28, 2018.

  1. Vixen

    Vixen Fapstronaut

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    After DD and reflection over the last decade or so of my relationship with my husband I’m having trouble determining if he is a PA with intimacy anorexia or if he’s a narcissist possibly with PA— or is just labelling his behavior as PA.

    He’s lied relentlessly on a few key items and only relinquished proof when he realized I had evidence. Looking back, he has a ton of narcissistic qualities. Lack of empathy. Entitlement. “My needs are most important so I don’t care about your needs.” Tons of misdirection, gaslighting, lies. He’s incredibly guarded, neglectful of me, super concerned about how people view him yet deeply insecure. He appears to be a nice person who will go out of his way to help pretty much everyone but he has been very critical, unhelpful and emotionally abusive to me.

    From what I read, narcissists can’t be “cured”. So... I’m now wondering if I should adjust expectations regarding PA recovery.

    Any advice, ideas, or similar experiences on this matter?
     
    Dutchdad likes this.
  2. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    I think the key word here is "OR" when it should have been "AND". We all have intimacy issues that could likely be traced back to early childhood trauma of some kind. As we begin to isolate at an early age in our addiction, we compartmentalize everything, and that's when our narcissistic personality comes out. All of these are properties manifested in our Pornography Addiction.
    Yes. That is, right up until we are ready to confront our addiction head on. And even then, it takes practice to get to where we don't lie. Lots of practice.
    ...and don't forget "delusions of grandeur". We ARE so much better than everyone else. Just ask any Pornography Addict. They'll lie about it, but if you could squeeze the truth out of them for once, they'd admit it's true.
    Well of course you don't think it is our fault, now do ya? I mean, we're never wrong.
    Yep, yep, yep...all of this paints a clear picture of what it looks like to be an addict. In fact, I can just about pinpoint someone who is an addict in the first five minutes of a conversation just by virtue of all of these traits. I don't know how/why I never noticed it before, but it's there if you're looking for it.
    This was once me. It makes no sense.
    Where did you read this? This concerns me.
    I think the biggest thing is that you recognize all of this. Boundaries & Consequences are the single most important item to address and heal it. It is crucial to a remission of this addiction.
     
  3. Vixen

    Vixen Fapstronaut

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  4. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

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    After I read your other post. He sounds like a narc too. Mine is. All the manipulation, triangulation projection and gaslighting. Porn and masturbation just made it worse. Of course who knew mine preferred to jack off for 20 yes. Ughh the mess in my mind.
     
    Vixen likes this.
  5. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

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    Get up and get better
     

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