My weird HOCD Situation (Possible trigger warnings)

How to Post Triggers:

When posting you will see an icon that is a + symbol. Click that and select spoiler. A box will pop up and give you the option to give the spoiler a title.

Give it the title of "Trigger: _______" Without being too graphic in the trigger warning, put text that warns about the trigger.

Then you will have inserted into your post a "spoiler" beginning and end. Your cursor will be right where you need to start typing. The spoiler trigger should typed in between the two "spoiler" tags with the end of the spoiler trigger tag having the / symbol. I can't show you the exact text because it would create the trigger box I'm describing. But, I can show you what it will look like:

Spoiler: Possible Trigger about Oral Sex

This is where the trigger should go

Just click the spoiler/trigger box and it will open. Click it again and it will close.

Easy to keep explicit text locked away. In most cases, reading a graphic description of a fetish or trigger isn't required to give a good answer.

 

Brother just quit the porn and fap and you will heal and understand your true sexuallity

 

Hey @BillyBobBoBoBo ,

If it were easy to quit any addiction, help groups wouldn't be required.

I did a hard reboot at first. But, that doesn't work for everyone and when they only achieve five days and reset, they call themselves a failure. Some just give up.

Don't give up.

Here are a couple of ideas:

Decide what is really causing you the most problems. For me it was porn. Porn is a lie, every bit of what is in porn is a lie.

So, one idea is to try and stop only porn. Yes, pmo is a huge problem but, if you can't stop all at once, then your goals are getting in the way of your recovery.

Another idea is to set smaller hard boot goals. 30 days sounded easy when I set the goal and I achieved it. However, about five or so days into the reboot 30 days started to take on the same feel as a lifetime. Setting a goal of three days, then add two more days if you are doing good. I really believe that if you set a goal of 30 days and manage five days you are training your brain for no pmo and still by not hitting the goal of 30 days it feels as if you failed.

Many disagree with this but, I feel that sex is a normal thing in our lives. I don't see any problem with orgasms. I also don't see any problem with masturbation that uses normal images in the mind. It's natural, men have been masturbating since there were men. It's porn that is screwing with my brain, not orgasms nor masturbation. I do have a goal of not using images from porn in masturbation and only using real-life things I remember or normal fantasies.

You are not a failure. You are here and you are bing honest. That is a giant step forward. Keep your goals and remember you are a person with self-worth.

-- D2L

 

Since you have girlfriend stop watching porn as a start and stop masturbate. If its too much for start, stop watching porn for a begining. Then add avoidance of masturbation. you will see first benefits in 14/30 days. porn is trash and it really doesnt take you anywhere.

 

NoFap is Sex-Positive. Read the NoFap Mission Statement on the Home Page. I have it as my tag line but, you can just open nofap.com and it will be right there.

Based on your goals there are two things in the Mission Statement I think are important:

@BillyBobBoBoBo, if you are having sex with your g/f and that is within your belief system - in other words, you don't feel bad about it for any reason at all - then, having a normal human to human sex life is the goal of NoFap. It says so in the Mission Statement:

I don't see any reason for you to not orgasm during sex with your g/f if you are having a good sexual relationship.

--- D2L

Note: that the bold and italics I added in the quote.

 

Hey @BillyBobBoBoBo ,

Speaking only for myself, I need to do two things. First, set goals that I really believe are healthy. Next, to be honest with myself about meeting those goals.

If this program has to be about perfection or about never having an orgasm. Then, it's not for me. If it's about a sex-positive and non-porn way of life, then, I'm all for it.

--- D2L

 

I have a GF and i had (or still have) huge issues with myself. Started with No Porn No Masturbation, ended up with No PORN alone as masturbation is still an issue for me that i work on. I can go about 4 weeks without masturbation and then i give up. If i did not have sex that would be way harder for me.

However, i did extremly good with porn. I had not watched it for last 70 days. I live with it very good and i dont miss it. I was very addicted to very hard stuff and it left holes in my brain that i need to fix but at least i dont get back to them.

You can do the same. Resign from the porn and over time try to fix something more if you see something doesnt work. You are lucky to have a GF. Focus on her and over time your relationship will improve as well and you wont come back to porn. It doesnt give you anything besides problems and temporary dopamine hit.

 

We are not you and we dont know everything. Each of us is different. We can give you only advice from our own experience but it doesn't necessarily need to work for you. Go and try and then adjust to your own situation.

I can confirm and 100% admit:
- porn is shit , useless trash, if you go too further it can destroy your life. Cutting it off in short term 14/30 days gives real results and i expeirenced them

- masturbation is addiction and quick term solution to some issues. On the other hand M is healthy from time to time, but since you are in relationship and can have sex why M when you can have great time together with your GF?

think about your situation, address the issues and make good decisions.

Good luck!