My story!

Hi all, first time nofap post and to be honest first time ive ever joined a forum but that’s because this has become so important to me. Im a 23 Year old male, still a virgin, living in Australia.

So to cut the long story short (actually its not going to be short at all who am i kidding) Growing up all my life ive had a condition called Phimosis (Having a tight foreskin not being able to retract) not even realising i had a problem, i just thought thats what all men had. Until about 17 i started to question why all other men had different looking penis’s. After another year I finally found the courage too go to a doctor and ask, he gave me a type of cream and told me that with stretching everyday and using the cream it would loosen. 2 years went by and i had little progress, it was really starting to take a toll on me mentally, and at the age of 20 i was too afraid of any sexual interaction. I went back to another doctor and he told me the cream would never work as that is for young kids, i would need to get circumcised

After going through with the op, several months later i was in shock, after going my whole life with phimosis i had gotten used to it. And when ny head was exposed, it felt so strange, even after the super sensitive nature was gone. Masturbation felt completely different and actually hurt a little.
Still i was a mess mentally, i now had a scar on my circumcised penis that was hurting me everytime i would look at it, so I continued staying away from girls.

Just over A year ago i had the courage to go to a girl friends house that i knew was interested. We got into bed and i couldnt get hard. I knew porn was a problem, as well as the depression and anxiety i was getting from knowing that it was likely going to happen again. So I haven’t tried again since. Ive had the chances and kissed plenty while out clubbing etc, but i can never go the next step in fear of having the same thing happen.

I tried stopping porn and it worked for a couple weeks until i got on the drink with some friends and ended up back home sitting next to my computer and I couldn’t resist, ive definitely cut back from my old self of masturbation every day but i still definitely have a problem, i just want to feel like i fit in with all my friends going out getting girls instead of lying about the countless girls that i have gotten home(sad i know, but i couldnt face the embarrassment of telling them)
Im alot better off mentally in general, not depressed at all, still a little anxious. But im dead scared of another sexual encounter. And i know with the amount of porn i have watched that is the main problem now. I need to fix myself to get the confidence back that i need to live my life.

Any tips would be appreciated. Keep in mind im very new to forums all together. Just about to start a challenge hopefully and get on the right track

Wish all you beautiful people the best.

 

Thanks, will do. I do feel like this was the exact right place to come and super happy I stumbled across it this evening