Hi everyone, I'm 19, and recently just got out of a 2 year relationship with a very bad breakup (was broken up w/, too many fights for us to keep it going). In addition to this, I have been on hard mode for 17 days now, prior to this had just been O with my ex; watching porn here and there but not too frequently. We broke up last Wednesday, and I do realize it's too quick for me to expect to be moving on. I'm depressed and incredibly anxious, but am seeing my psychiatrist to work through this. Previously with my former partner, I had almost no problem obtaining an erection. During the beginning I suffered from PIED and extreme fetishes, but slowly fazed it out via rebooting, and eventually was able to have an erection w/in seconds of foreplay. Since then, I have been seeing a girl I've found fairly attractive for a while. She's only been over to my place for 3 days now, but every time I've been unable to gain the slightest erection, despite her best efforts of stimulation. She understands that I'm going through a rough patch, and stays over just to comfort me, but I am extremely frustrated. There is the possibility I am going through a flatline, but to be honest, I do need a rebound. I'm constantly thinking about my ex, still in love w/ her, and it just hurts so much to be messing up something new as well. I understand watching porn is not going to be the healthiest, and that it may trigger a downward spiral, but I intend to use it almost as a stepping stone to prep myself for being able to have sex w/ women other than my ex. I'm not too sure what to do, but this flatline or whatever it may be is absolutely killing me.
Breathe, man. You're heartbroken, I know it fucking sucks, but you have to move forward, as hard as that may seem right now. Do not start looking at porn. Enjoy the girl you'r with, even if it's just as "cuddle buddies", whatever. It seems like she likes being with you and you with her. I'm not sure the attraction level, but enjoy her companionship. You're gonna be ok. You're gonna find an amazing girl, someone you really get along with. Don't go spiraling downward because of a breakup.
Yeah I'm trying my best, just fucking hard with this being finals and all. I just don't want to ruin what I currently have because she does want to have sex w/ me, but I really don't know the patience she may have. I don't really have much of an intention to date her (both communicated to just sex), but it's mostly that I want to feel something I guess. I know an orgasm would do me good, especially at this time and all, and is the reason why I was considering porn just to get into the mood.
I just don't want you slipping back down a very, slippery slope. I don't wanna tell you the wrong thing, but try to stay strong through this. I know it's a mother fucker, but please try to stay strong. One day, one hour, one minute at a time.
I don't know. It's like I'll have an erection when she's grinding on me or whatever, but when it comes to sex I just go soft. Is it possible that I'm just putting too much pressure on myself?
You could very well be having a bit of performance anxiety. Explain that to her. I'm sure you want to please her, (which you can still do in many other ways), but you just need to be super relaxed. I've had the same shit happen. I know this for a fact because there were days I'd come home after work and plop on the chairr, exhausted, nearly passing out, and within a minute, I'd have a raging hard-on; that's how relaxed I was. (Not that you needed to know that, I'm just sayin'). And I have HORRIBLE PIED!! Now we KNOW it's a brain thing, not a dick thing. You're gonna be fine, brother!
