My sexuality had been completely warped. It feels like I wasn't aroused by women, but by images

This is not a politically correct topic and you should proceed at your own risk.


I am writing the next paragraphs to provide context for what I am trying to explain.

This sexual attraction is a very touchy subject for many. As we already know, people can get attracted to just about anything. I don't think it's normal. Since we are not asexual organisms, I consider that any attraction that is not of the opposite gender is a paraphilia (sexual interests in objects, situations, or individuals that are atypical).

We are designed to breed and we would not have sex organs at all otherwise. The sole purpose of the existence of the penis is to interact with a woman and the sole purpose of the vagina is to receive a man. Again, I understand this is a controversial topic and I will get a lot of flak for it but i'm concerned about the truth rather than pleasing others.

We know people can get attracted to the same sex, to children, to animals, to inanimate objects, to dead bodies, to feces/urine, to cuckoldry and so on. The list is extremely long and you can see a part of it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

So this begs the question - is sexual fantasizing a paraphilia?

To which my answer now, after 6 years of fighting PMO and finally conquering it is yes. Sexual fantasizing (which also includes watching pics/movies/reading erotica) is a paraphilia. So is masturbation. Masturbation's role appears to be that of validating the sexual fantasy. One paraphilia validating the other in a perpetual motion.


I had been watching porn since 12 and had used porn exclusively up until 20 yo. Now i'm 31. I was addicted to porn, masturbation and sexual fantasizing for almost 20 years. Thankfully i'm past that now but I can't help but wonder how my sexuality got warped so bad and to what I was even attracted to.

Because it feels like i wasn't attracted to real women but to pictures, videos and fantasies of women. You might say that is the same thing and that's what I used to think as well, but lately i feel it's two separate things.

I feel like i've been able to FAKE attraction to women because they so closely resembled the thing my sexuality got hooked on (pictures/videos). I feel like i've been able to get erections with real life women because i fantasized and made all the interaction into a movie or an image. It might sound weird but i think it's something very similar for example to a pedophile or a necrophile who technically has sex with a woman but it's not exactly an actual woman.

In some way I didn't even want the real women because they distracted me from my real attraction - images and fantasies of women. Real women were actually interfering with my "sexuality" because they destroyed it in a way (when i was having real sex i could no longer sustain my fantasy and the fantasy became lesser in quality).

 

Well, I wasn't saying the "sole purpose of the woman is to receive a man" but "the purpose of the vagina is to receive a man (penis)". This goes both ways so the whole purpose of the penis is to get a vagina.

This is strictly biology and this makes the difference between sexual and asexual organisms.

 

If you believe in the Theory of Evolution (and you should even if you're religious), it's quite clear that every organ we have serves a purpose. The purpose of sexual organs is interacting with eachother.