my parents told me when you will find a girlfriend

Hey man, workout, eat clean, meditate. And in the meantime go out, overcome your fear

 

To either parent or both: "Hey, I can't just get a girlfriend because you're telling me to. If you want a girlfriend, go out and get one for yourself."

To either parent or both: "You are really obsessive and paranoid about this, aren't you? Do you think I would even bring a girl home to meet you now or even tell you about her?"

To either parent or both: "When I'm ready to marry, I'll be moving far away first. You won't see either of us."

 

I think the real question is why are you so worried about being rejected? Nervousness around talking to girls I fully believe comes from a fear of rejection. Once you realize that a woman’s negative opinion of you is not a death sentence, and that finding a girlfriend is simply a numbers game you will find one. Shoot your shot and if it doesn’t work out shrug it off and move on to the next one.

The other question is are you the type of man worth dating. If not, become that kind of guy. If you are fat lose weight. If you have no money work on your income earning ability. If you are still addict to porn quit Porn. Maybe you are scared to talk to women because you feel you have nothing to offer. Work on yourself and the confidence to talk to them will come. If you do manage to quit porn that will put you in probably the top 10% of quality men in your generation alone.

Speaking purely practically, if you want to meet women go to places where the ratio of women to men is high. One excellent place is church. There are a lot of single beautiful women at church just waiting for a good man to talk to. If you aren’t religious try a yoga class or a college course in an area of study mostly studied by women.

Just some thoughts. Oh and stay off of Tinder. It’s too close to selecting the right porn clip.

 

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22, but that shouldn't matter. I genuinely thing that the absolute best state one can be to be ready for a relationship is when you absolutely are perfectly happy with being single and chaste for a very long time. Not only are you working at your best, but you also ironically become the most attractive because you aren't putting out any desperate vibes out there.

The worst thing you can do is get into a relationship out of desperation and then be stuck in it because you learn there's a lot of baggage and downsides but don't want to leave because of what you perceive as the alternative.

Working on yourself is fine, but be very careful not to get yourself into the constant and toxic preoccupation of whether or not you're valuable enough for a woman. It's unanswerable and, worst of all, it keeps shifting the goalposts as you do keep working on yourself. Whatever you do, you should do it because you can sustainably enjoy it and for the sake of doing it.

 

Yo, where do you live that has a bunch of pretty women in church? Jk, don't answer that. I live with my parents rn in Arkansas, so that pretty much answers itself. Lmao

 

That being said, if you do want to improve your ability to talk to people, there's a thread on here called "100 Cold Approaches." Read some of the posts there as motivation to practice talking to people. While I do understand that "ya just gotta be confident like those guys in Magic Mike bro!" is extremely unhelpful (trust me, I've been on the receiving end of this before,) you can get yourself to this mental state of confidence via habituation. Either way works.

If you'd like, I'd recommend a book called Psycho-Cybernetics. I don't have anybody to date around here (and I really don't care since I'm moving,) but as I read and reread the book, I could imagine how one could use the precepts for dating by practicing talking and imagining myself being successful at it. But more importantly, it encouraged me to give me a more aggressively positive outlook on life and all of it's challenges, which makes the whole undertaking all the more worth it. Cheers.