Okay guys, I relapsed after a streak of 55 days! YES! 55 DAYS! And honestly I'm not disappointed at all because earlier I couldn't even go 2 days without PMO, but like I reached 55 days so that's a huge accomplishment for me. However, we can't ignore the fact that I DID relapse and now what to do. I relapsed on 27th of December 2016 after a night of getting extremely drunk, I woke up early in the morning and I was in my full senses so just so you know it was properly acknowledged from my side. I kinda knew this had been coming because I had started watching pornographic material and sometimes touching (not edging). *TRIGGER WARNING STARTS NOW* So at early morning when I woke up from my drunk state, I tried something creative; I decided to listen to an audio of hands-free orgasm hypnosis and I'm not gonna lie, but it felt amazing unlike my previous relapse 50-60 days back. However this is no reason to continue doing it. *TRIGGER ENDS* In fact, this relapse really taught me a lot about myself and how I really am without NoFap. I started abusing PMO once again and I noticed even though my confidence didn't really go down, I started to become a lot more negative and cynical. I also noticed my voice lost it's depth, more so than anything else - I missed my ex girlfriend like crazy. I started NoFap right after a break up and it kept me strong for a long time however this power finished right after I fapped so I have a reason to not masturbate again. Fapping has also made me devoid of any goals per se - I procrastinate like crazy, to the point where I'm not even feeling any shame haha. My biggest mistake in terms of relapsing was that I stopped posting over here. It started with not posting for a day then making it up for it on the next day and from that it spread to me not writing for 12 days so that's one thing I'm not gonna do again. Anyway, I'm sorry to all the people who supported me in this journey, I let you down and I'm not gonna let that happen this time. LET'S FUCKING START THIS THING UP ONCE MORE. #NotGivingUp Jeff (NOT MY REAL NAME)
