My Intro

Hello all,

I'm a 22 year old male who has been struggling with a porn addiction. Today marks the first day of my NoFap journey. My goal is to completely eliminate porn for the rest of my life. And today I have gone completely without it.

I was first introduced to porn when I was around 11 or 12, I definitely hadn't even reached puberty. At first it started slow with videos featuring typical (and some may even say stereotypical) actors and positions/acts. I when I was this young I only watched out of curiosity, not even pleasure. But I remember my young, immature, and developing mind was overloaded with the stimulus. Clicking on another video was a new discovery to me, even though (looking at it now) it's all the same.

What really brought out the demons was when my parent's divorced which forced me to relocate from a small town in Iowa to a populous town in California. Keep in mind, I had just turned 14 and I moved right before I was thrown into 9th grade now at a completely different high school. I knew nobody and it was also a complete culture shock. I also discovered with masturbation that I could ejaculate for the first time. The porn I'd say was more addictive now and it would keep getting more and more from then on. It was an avenue for me to relieve the stresses of this new environment, having no friends also contributed.

Only recently do I feel it's made an impact on my worklife and my relationship. I have a girlfriend 2 years younger than me. We are sexually active, having many great sessions but also many sessions where it was obvious I had PIED. I know this is going to raise some hairs but she doesn't know about this issue, and in my opinion this is MY problem that only I can fix. I don't see sense in hurting her over something she doesn't have control over. I will say though that she is the most loving, caring, and overall best person I have ever been with. I can say without a doubt though that mentioning I have this problem would seriously change the dynamic of the relationship in the worst possible way, if not break us apart.

I want to mention that my interest in porn was definitely insidious. For now I've only been interested in extremely taboo genres that I'm both ashamed to mention and scared it would violate guidelines. There's been days at work that all I can think about while working is looking at porn while on my breaks. And there's been times at home when I look forward to my girlfriend leaving so I can indulge in porn without worrying about repercussions. It's like any moment I have to spend watching porn and committing PMO I will. This has take both a physical and especially a mental toll. But what really inspires change is my performance in bed.

It comes to the point where I can't reach climax and it leaves both me and my partner hurt and disappointed, it's the worst feeling on earth, I can't go on doing this anymore. So like I've said, I plan to stop porn forever. My current goal is to do the 90 no PM. My orgasms will come solely from sex with my girlfriend. I count failure as laying eyes on porn in any purposeful way.

I want to thank the site and the community for any future support and would love to chat with anybody going through either the same or different experiences, all opinions related to the subject are welcome.

Thank you