Good night to who is reading this, Today is my first day of a conscious rebooting. I am really glad I started taking the porn addiction seriously. Today was a quiet day. The only moment when I had to control myself was in the afternoon when I was working on a project alone at home, I felt the urge to dive into porn. I am proud of myself because I controlled this urge and my short streat continues. I am a bit sad because two days ago I had a hard findom experience, I feel myself insecure in social situations and overthinking constantly. I think one of the best decisions that I have took today was to leave my phone away for 3 straight hours, I felt really in peace for that time. Not really much for the first day, the first day of my porn-free life. Thank you a lot for reading, just want you to know that making this posts motivates me daily for overcoming the addiction. We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Im happy for you man! also a starter in this journey! About overthinking, habe you ever tried mindfullness? its been helping control my anxiety a lot.
Hey @Brazilian Addict, I am trying but it's very difficult for me. Sometimes It works, sometimes I can't deal with my anxiety even though doing mindfulness. Maybe in the future I'll try to look more deeply into that. Thanks for the advice!
SECOND DAY Good morining to who is reading this, I really don't know how the webiste works, but I think I'll continue my journal here. The second day was more diffucult than the first one. In the morning I got really anxious with a project due to it's lack of organization and this anxiety made me had a hard time in the afternoon when I was back home. I really made an effort and start wacthing a movie: Guy Ritchie's The Covenant. It really helped me out overcoming this time. I believe that slowly I'll be changing my mindset, for now I noticed that porn isn't as attractive as It was a few days ago. I don't know if it's a real change or only the emotion of beggining the reboot. I am feeling happy fo two days without porn and masturbation. This weekend my girlfriend is coming over and for me is very important to have some days without porn to enjoy sex with her. My short-term goal is to keep this streak since next monday. Then I'll make new goal to keep me motivated. Thank you a lot for reading, just want you to know that making this posts motivates me daily for overcoming the addiction. We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Third Day Good morining to who is reading this, Yesterday was a strange day. I wanted to watch porn on several times, but I calmly just kept me busy and doing other stuff. I had plenty of slient and lonely time so there were a lot of chances to wathc it. However, I managed not to. Besides, a bad part of being abstaining from porn is that my anxiety must be calm in another way. Normally, I eat much more junk food and larger quantities. That's something I want to control, but for the moment is okay as it is a natural consequence of quitting porn. I took really mental notes of yesterday like I have to meet more often my friends and the projects I'm working on doesnpt deserve that much anxiety. Even though it wasa tough day, I believe It will help me out in this process. Thank you a lot for reading, just want you to know that making this posts motivates me daily for overcoming the addiction. We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Fourth Day Good morining to who is reading this, Yesterday It was a really good day. I really enjoy it, mainly because I was honest to myself and I was able to give me what I most needed in every moment. Porn wasn't in my mind at all! I was all day doing stuff like studying, meetings, classes, gyms and meeting my friends. I am really excited because today my girlfriend is coming and in the morning I had a natural boner. I believe this is a great signal. Not much more for yesterday. Thank you a lot for reading, just want you to know that making this posts motivates me daily for overcoming the addiction. We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Seventh day Good afternoon to who is reading this, This weekend way really nice. I spent it with my girlfriend and enjoyed really nice sex. However, for cumming I need to think about porn. The turn is that when I am cumming I think about my girlfriend or sex. The strange thing is that I love having sex, but with that I am not able to cum. How is this called? Is not a ED because I have a boner all the sexual intercourse. Sometimes I could cum without thniking withou porn, so I guess is just mind conditioning, so I have to recondition it again. A part from that, everything was fine. Really good weekend and really proud of making it throught the first week! Thank you a lot for reading, just want you to know that making this posts motivates me daily for overcoming the addiction. We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Eight day Good afternoon to who is reading this, Not too much to comment on this day. Really productive day, keeping me busy, no thoughts on porn. I am enlarging my streak slowly. I am being more conscious of my actions and I am glad of that. Every small act can affect my day and It's important to be positive. At least, this is what I noticed. I need to focus more on the positive. I have been doing that during this day and It was effective! Thank you a lot for reading, just want you to know that making this posts motivates me daily for overcoming the addiction. We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
I would recommend a hardmode reboot. What you said about you have to think about Porn to be able to orgasm is a slippery slope. Be honest with your girlfriend, tell her you have a Porn problem and the best way is to not have sex for at least 90 days. This is because our PMO addicted brains see sex from a third persons view and when we get back into it after a week of abstaining it's weird and triggers those same pathways. So the best thing is to let your brain heal and get the rest it needs. You can still make out with your girlfriend, hold hands..that type of stuff. Build up intimacy. Trust me, I white knuckled quitting Porn trough having sex with my girlfriend. Didn't end up well because the relationship ended. Not saying yours will, but I would recommend the Hardmode reboot. Which is actually the easiest.
Hey @Jacky198 Honestly, I have never thought about the hardmode reboot. Actually, this is the first time I heard about it. It's really interesting because I have been fighting against porn for 3 years but I only abstained from porn, not masturbation nor orgasm. And what you said rings a bell because every time I had a long streak without porn (30 or 60 days) and I had sex, every time I ended thinking about it. I am going to do a hardmode reboot, and I'll talk it with my girlfriend, who is normally positive about my actions against my addiction. I am really grateful for your message, you've opened a new pathway for me and that gave me hope!
Hey! I'm happy I could help you . Check out Mark Queppet on YouTube. Especially his more older playlist called: "The Sexual Self Mastery Series" Is very good. I'm now on Day 6 of Hardmode..and honestly it's been easier.
Ninth day Yesterday and today I messed everything up. I relapsed. F*ck. And I also spent money yesterday. I am feeling dissapointed with myself. I ended wacthing porn because I focus too much on the negative side of things. I hardly ever see the good parts of what I am doing and that led me to watch findom again, as a pitty to myself, like I don't deserve anything but at least I have porn. On the other side, I'll try to be more positive. I don't know how exactly right now. Moreover, I need to stop being so demandant with myself. I have to be more chilled. If anything is not done or not perfectly done, I don't have to stress out. I openly talk about this addiction with my girlfriend and is being supportive. That's a really good point, and another motivation. I don't know. Maybe I have to find me better, to be more honest with myself. I don't know.ñ I feel that I wacth porn more as a stress relief than for necessity, and that's why i am focussing so much on stress, truying to reduce it. I know this will be a long way, and this is the first relapse, but I also know that today after the relapse start the first day of my new porn-free life. As I said before, a bit broken with myself. A bit sad, also. However, I know I have to keep trying. I am not motivated, but I know I have a commitment with myself, and I want to honor my word. On the next days I am going to focus on the stress and discipline. And, currently I'll try to do the hardmode reboot. Thanks for reading until here. I hope you're doing better than me with your addiction! We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Tenth day Good morning to who is reading this, Yesterday was a rest day. I went party with my friends on thursday and I needed some good rest. Some thoughts on porn yesterday but easily managed to ban them form my head. At the moment feeling a bit demotivated. However, I know motivation will come further when I reach some results. My goal is to abstain for porn for december currently. I believe is a realisitic goal. The most difficult moment will be when I return home because I'll have too many free time. Thanks for reading until here. I hope you're doing better than me with your addiction! We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Sorry to burst your bubble but you're technically back on Day 0 or 1, depending if you stayed clean until now. It's like a drug addict who is 180 days clean then relapses on Day 180. He won't say he's on Day 181 the next day.
Eleventh and twelth day Good morning to who is reading this, This two days were more complicated. At some points I had urges to stroke and watch porn again. I could resist. Something that helps me out is keeping me busy or studying outside my room. I'll try to do it more often. Until I see I can control it better, I would try to reduce the opportunities to watch porn, even though there are some that I can't skip. I have set a goal for the first week. If I can accomplish staying clean for one week, I can eat my favourite food. I believe setting this simple goals with huge rewards will motivate me. Besides, @Jacky198 thanks for your comment. I know I am in my fourth day of hardmode reboot, that's why I have the day counter. However, I counting every day since I started taking the reboot seriously. Meaning that the day refers for hwo long I have been fighting against porn seriously rather than my days without porn, for that I have the counter. Thanks for reading until here. I hope you're doing better than me with your addiction! We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Twelth day Yesterday was a good day, Too many library hours and finally with headache, but no porn at all. I know that a key factor helping me out of the addiction is controlling my environment. I mean, I know I can't be alone too many time in my room alone, so intead I go to the library to study. Besides, I am controlling more better my anxiety. That really felt better than anything. Even though, I had some urges of porn, but were controlled. Today looking forward to a meeting with my friends for a project and this is my fourth day. As a rewards for the first week, I will eat a kebab. Setting goals is super motivational, I reccomend it to everybody. Thanks for reading until here. I hope you're doing better than me with your addiction! We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Thirteenth day Yesterday was a difficult day. I am starting to notice the effects of rebooting. My mind sometimes shifts towards porn automatically and I have to redirection it to another thing. Moreover, the urgess to masturbate were massive at some point of the day, I even dreamt that I was stroking to porn. Still I could focus on other things and continue my day. Must be said that yesterday the anxiety was present during all the day, thing that didn't help me at all. It is difficult for me to find joy in the little things I do in my everyday life. I am trying to change my mindset to being focus on work and being stressed out all day to search little pleasures in my daily routine. However, I feel that even though I thought something is enjoyable, I do not get the feeling of joy, I have only the thought not the feeling. It's a strange sensation. I guess It may be because the reward system is totally broken. That is another reason for doing the hardmode reboot. Good news is that today I woke up with a natural boner, a veru huge one. I am happy for that. Only two days away from my goal of one week! Thanks for reading until here. I hope you're doing better than me with your addiction! We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Fourteenth day Good morning to who is reading this, Yesterday was a complicated day. Too much time alone working and a regular stress management left me with a lot of porn thoughts and wanting to watch it again. I was able to control it! However, I am realizing that everyday is more difficult to get through. I mean, everyday is like the difficulty is increased one level. More thoughts, more urges, more moments when you can do it. From my past experience, I know that self-discipline will work until a limit. I should try to minimize the moments when is feasible relapsing because is the easiest thing to control. The library or the study room in my dorm are my main allies in this battle. I am happy because I haven't got any porn-related dreams which happened to me. On the other hand, I am also realizing that my body is thriving for cumming, I feel I have the necessity to release. But not in a physical way, more in a psicological way. The same when you eat without being hungry. In guess that is part of the journey. I will comment the next steps. To conclude, I will do it the first week and I will enjoy my rewards for the first week! I will have to look another reward for the next one. Thanks for reading until here. I hope you're doing better than me with your addiction! We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
Fifteenth day Good morning to who is reading this, Yesterday was a really strange day. I feelt overwhelmed by the great amount of work I have to do and I also felt burnt of having stress and this quantity of work through a lot of time. It may seemed contradictory, but I went to a job interview where they told me I was hired and starting in January. That really cheered me up! In the afternoon, I went to play volley beach with interantional people of my dorm and I really had a good time. However, in one moment I felt intimidated and scared because I was playing with a lot of women, I was afraid of looking too much or something like that. Finally, I could manage it perfectly and forgot about this worry and had a really good time! The moment when I was alone I really felt the necessity to watch porn. I guess, as I said in the previous post that this will be increasing due to the abstinence symptoms. At the moment, I can control them really good. So, one week of the hardmode reboot. Very happy with this result.Now I have to continue. The thing is that today I'll eat my forst week reward! Thanks for reading until here. I hope you're doing better than me with your addiction! We can do it! This addiction is not going to crush us!
