My day 1 journal

Well I decided to start this journal of my progress. This nofap journey hasn't been easy for me, at some point I feel really low or like I'm being judged at every step of they way when I relapse. And I hate the feeling, I ultimately promise myself to never make myself feel like that again. But when I get high in the nofap streak I start to have urges and thoughts that are like, oh you've gone so far it's whatever to jerk off and stuff and I always end up relapsing. I need help tbhh, idk how to stop