Title pretty much explains itself, I've had a crush on this girl for two years, but porn made me to much of a bitch to talk to her. My cousin came over to visit for a few weeks and now they are pretty much dating. It fucking kills me, but I can't help but laugh at myself. On the bright side, this gives me yet another reason to quit PMO.
Sounds uncomfortably familiar. Except for me it was friends and not family members who ended up with the girl. We all need to quit the shit and be real men that can control ourselves.
Tough break man. Don’t worry though, you can always get more. https://www.amazon.com/Crush-Soda-Cans-Pack-Orange/dp/B00C0AF3IM
She wasn't stolen. She was never yours to begin with. You made sure of that. This pain / suffering / negative experience / dissatisfaction... don't release it. Embrace it. Work with it. You got complacent, content, and comfortable to the point where you didn't take any action for 2 years. You had no sense of urgency. Life was fine the way it was. No need to face the uncertain, uncomfortable, and challenging things that you knew you had to do to have a better life and to become a better person. Instant gratification escapism methods like PMO / junk food / alchohol / drugs / tv / etc are ways to release tension / pain / suffering / dissatisfaction immediately. You've conditioned yourself to escape and release at the first sign of any tension. You've numbed yourself. If you've allowed yourself to feel and experience the tension long enough, you would be able to harness it and channel it towards something positive (higher quality solutions, pleasures, and positive experiences). Porn is a low quality way of experiencing mediocre pleasures, quick fixes, and weak experiences. It made you comfortable and satisfied. Then in comes life to slap you in the face so that you would wake up to all of the things in life that you're dissatisfied with. Will you release this tension for the sake of instant gratification / comfort / ease / certainty... or will you embrace the tension, sacrifice short term emotions for the sake of long term outcomes, get dissatisfied, face uncertainty / adversity / discomfort, and change your life?
Jesus dude, might as well write a novel lol. Anyway you're right, I trained myself to stay in my comfort zone and instantly satisfy myself, rather than working for anything I actually cared about. This kills me though, I've never been extremely girl crazy(for real life girls) so it's rare I find a girl I crush on super hard. But in 6 months - a year when another girl shows up, or my cousin breaks up with her, I will be ready.
sound painful, well imagine 1 year from now having done semen retention and nofap for a year you'll get a better girl for sure!
I strongly relate to this because I've missed so many opportunities on girls I really liked before, and then they pass by. Like you said, it's another reason to quit pmo. Try to look at it like you weren't meant for her, but for someone else. Bro trust me, if there's one thing I learned from the (few) relationships I've had with girls, there will ALWAYS be someone better. You'll see